Awesome text meesage - just now

A few weeks ago, I met a guy through a friend in my bible study group who had just recently decided to turn his life over to Christ and leave the gay lifestyle. It was 3 days after our Texas Journey into Manhood weekend in Houston and the program won't be offered here again for another year. I knew it would be one of the best ways for him to get started on the journey and I was praying for a way for him to go. I discovered I had just enough airline miles to get a plane ticket for him to go to the JiM weekend in Florida. I dropped him off at the airport Friday morning and had been praying for him all weekend.

I texted him just now to ask how his weekend went. I got this text back a few seconds later:  

“God loves you more than any dude will ever love you."

When I was High School and College, a magazine called "XY" was extremely appealing to me. The magazine was filled with "eye-candy." It was basically soft-core porn, but it also portrayed gay "couples" my age in very romanticized ways that seemed at the time to speak to my deepest wounds and longings. I used to seek out the magazine every time I went to Barnes and Noble and browse it in awe. 

In retrospect, my experience was similar to that of Madam Bovary in Flaubert's novel who bought into to the FALSE "love" of romanticism. A narcissistic self-serving endless cycle of increasing desperation. The images and articles glorified the concept of "gay relationships" and the idealization of this homoerotic attraction as a form of "love."  (See my other blog post from 1/7/13: "What is Love?") It also included plenty of propaganda articles about the "Christian Right" and others (like Pope John Paul II) who allegedly were "filled with hate" for "people like us" because they wanted more for people with the homosexual condition than simply these shallow "relationships."

Michael Glatze, left

One of the main writers for XY at the time was Michael Glatze (pictured on the Left in this picture with Ben his "boyfriend" at the time). It has been a long time now since I've looked for that magazine. I found out recently though, that Michael turned his life over to Christ and left the gay lifestyle. Here is the story of his conversion published by Worldnet Daily on 7/3/2007:   'Gay'-rights leader quits homosexuality and a more detailed account: http://www.wnd.com/2007/07/42385/

Dr. Joseph Nicolosi has followed up with Michael several times and they recently published this interviews: 2007 interview: http://narth.com/docs/glatze.pdf
 Michael Glatze: Two Year Follow-up (2009)

"Noble Man" - Healing Weekend By women For Men

I'm thinking of signing up to a totally different experiential weekend in November called "Noble Man." It is a weekend run By women For men. 

It is not specifically designed for SSA (same-sex attraction), but several of my friends have recommended it for help with relating to women and even possibly developing more OSA (opposite sex attraction). That's the part of this whole journey that is still the scariest for me - in part I don't yet have confidence that it's possible. I really need Faith on that.

The weekend was originally intended for OSA men (Opposite-Sex Attracted) who felt disempowered by women or had challenges in their relationships with women. Several of my SSA (same-sex attracted) friends have gone and said it helped them tremendously. They have highly recommended it. I think JONAH (Jews Offering New Alternatives to Healing) also co-sponsored this weekend a few times in the past.

Back from the BEYOND (Journey Beyond)

I really appreciate your prayers this past week while I was at "Journey Beyond" the advanced program for "Journey into Manhood" (JiM) grads. All I'll say for now is that I just returned from the most AMAZING ssa-healing experience ever! God made his presence known in a POWERFUL way the past 6 days. It was a major healing experience for all of us.

I cried (gallons) non-stop for four full days and then again last night when I got home. About 1/3 of that was crying with and for others. I felt so attuned to their wounds that I probably cried more for them than I did when it was my turn. My whole face covered in snot - it was nasty. ;)

Another 1/3 of the crying was a "draining of the swamp" for experiences and losses I should have grieved 15-20 years ago. I had a lot of support from the brothers there when re-experiencing that. Another 1/3 of the crying though was tears of absolute JOY!
I can definitely understand now why they didn't let me go last year. I would NOT have been prepared to handle it in a healthy way a year ago. I felt like I and the others were well supported though when we had to face our issues.

During one particular process I was able to see and experience God walking with me through all of the dark moments of my past -the worst of the wounds and the worst of my sins. The times in my life where I felt I was the farthest from God. It seems like he shined a brilliant light into those dark places (I could see even the dark rooms I had been in back then being lit up with a blinding light. Nothing was secret, but everything was being restored. I really experienced first hand the way He has been able to use those bad experiences for good and for fulfilling the work that He has for me to do in affirming others and leading others to Him and walking with them in their healing.

"I Thirst for You!"

I'm working on a talk that I'm giving to my "Knights of Columbus" council tomorrow night on the book "Be a Man" by Fr. Larry Richards.

Anyway, I just ran across an AWESOME video and thought you might like it:

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

Fr. Check on EWTN

 

Here is an interview with Fr. Check, the Director of the COURAGE Apolstolate, Fr. Check on EWTN. He talks about our "Sports Camp" around the 39min mark.  He was on my team for Baseball, Football, and Basketball.

Divine Appointment "in the Gayberhood"

I had a really interesting (challenging, but rewarding) experience last night with my guys' bible study group.
(this is the group I mentioned before where we shot the propane tank with the AK 47 on our last retreat: see video here: http://youtu.be/QeTz8efOoEc).

Most of the guys are evangelical protestant. I'm probably the only Catholic in the group, but we've gotten along pretty well. Last night, my friend Jason was leading and he started talking about this concept called "Divine Appointments." It's a bit of Charismatic thing I guess, but mostly it required more boldness than anything else.

He started by asking us to pray for a while and listen for God to speak and to reveal one person to each of us that we needed to pray for or talk to that night.

Then he told us first to ask God to reveal to us a place / location and to write down the first thing that came to mind. At first I saw this cafe in my head, but I kept telling myself "no" because it's in the gay part of town and I KNEW God wouldn't want me going there.

Then Jason said:

"The 1st voice you hear is God's voice. The 2nd voice is you trying to talk yourself out of what you heard from God and the 3rd voice is Satan trying to convince you that you were right and that couldn't have been from God." 

So, I went ahead and reluctantly wrote down "Cafe Brazil in Oaklawn."

Then we were supposed to write down anything that came to mind about a person. I thought of someone wearing a "white sweater, blue jeans and white tennis shoes" - so I wrote that down. Then I thought "No person in Oaklawn would be caught dead wearing THAT!...hello, fashion police?!"  ;)

Anyway, I wanted to scratch it all out, but I left it alone

When everyone was finished and we ended up splitting into small groups and getting into cars to go find the persons we had described and pray with or evangelize them. I was really nervous and freaked out - leading two of my non-SSA friends (who didn't yet know about MY SSA) right into Dallas's GAYberhood. I hadn't been there myself in over a year and it's always a place where people are Lewd, Crude, and Socially Unacceptable (24 hours a day!)

We got there and I started saying "Let's go to a DIFFERENT Cafe Brazil" I'm sure it can't be this one!" but my friends said "NO! We're going here first. It's what YOU wrote down." 

We walked up and there was a guy standing right in the doorway wearing a white sweatshirt, blue jeans, and white tennis shoes.I could tell he was SSA and I froze up.

Jason asked "Is that him? Is that your guy?"

What is Love?

Below is an email I sent to a friend. The analysis of Romeo and Juliet was first brought to my attention in a book by Mario Bergner called Setting Love in Order, a book that I would highly recommend. It is a short, quick read, but really powerful.

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I think it is pretty enlightening when we measure our own thoughts, motives, and actions against God's description of Love in 1 Cor 13. It is rare that we live up to this, but I've noticed when I was in the lifestyle that I was constantly doing things that were the exactly the opposite and yet calling it "love."

"⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes. Love never ends."  1 Corinthians 13:4-8

The last sentence drives home an important point. There is a song I used to listen to in high school that went “It must have been Love, but it's over now...” Unfortunately it really epitomizes the pathetic and erroneous view I used to have that Love was an emotion or feeling that can come and go or can be conditional. I just googled the lyrics to that song. It goes:

“It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out”

ABC Nightline - decision

This is an email I sent to my CRHP team at church on September 29th, but refrained form posting online until after the story aired on ABC Nightline.I'm posting it online now that the story has aired. :)
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From: Jeremy@_____
Sent: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 1:38 PM
To: ____@yahoogroups.com
Subject: ABC Nightline interview - Prayer Request

This is still kind of awkward and embarrassing to explain via email, but I'll try my best. Those who know my CRHP witness (from a few years ago) know that I've benefited a lot from the Catholic group called "Courage" - http://www.couragerc.net/, which helps people with the homosexual condition live chaste lives in accordance with our Catholic faith.

There is another program (which is endorsed by Courage) that I have also been very involved with this past
 year called "Journey into Manhood" or (JiM). It's a challenging psychology-based program that addresses the underlying root causes of homosexuality and it has had tremendous help to me in completing the recovery and reversal of this condition.

A few months ago, ABC Nightline approached People Can Change, the program's founder about doing a story. He asked for advice from all of us and several of us urged him to do it. After talking with the Producer, reviewing some of the past Nightline programs and talking with a media consultant, Rich decided that in this particular case there was a good chance we would get a fair presentation of our cause.

They decided to re-enact part of a weekend with past participants and allow ABC to film the experience. They wanted to interview one participant on camera and follow him through the entire experience (showing the program through his eyes). My friend Pret (Preston) volunteered for this role. He and his wife Megan prayerfully considered it and decided to go forward.

Twelve of us met at a retreat center near Houston to re-enact the weekend for Nightline's cameras. We all fasted and prayed for several days. Originally (with the exception of Preston), we were ALL going to have our faces blurred and voices disguised.  However, Friday night in the cabin, 2 of my friends and I had a chance to talk away from the cameras.

We were discussing our frustration about how effective the other side seems to be in getting their message across. They seem to have the whole world convinced now that living a gay lifestyle is genetic, unchangeable, and even "healthy." All of us know now from our own personal experience that the opposite is true. In the past though, we had believed their message and this kept us trapped in self-destructive sin for a long time. My friend Ty said "Well, they are not afraid to show their faces and we are."  I thought "Ok, well let's change the subject then." (I didn't like where the conversation was going;).

The Holy Spirit must have had a different idea though. That night three of us decided individually that our fear of NOT getting the message out was far more significant than our fear of any potential consequences from being seen on TV. The next morning the three of us told the ABC producer that we would allow our faces to be shown and fully support Preston.

I was still terrified of the idea. For a while I actually thought I could just passive-aggressively keep away from the cameras or stay far enough back that I wouldn't really be noticed. I figured at first that even though I was going to allow my face to be seen that I could still be just like a movie extra and no one would really pay attention or notice me on TV. At first, whenever I wanted to speak up I tried to time it for the brief moments when the camera was off (when they were changing tapes). As the day went on though I became more aware of Christ's presence and He gave me a lot of courage.

In the end the 4 of us did a group interview on camera. I was able to speak authentically and answer some pointed questions. They asked if I was just "suppressing my true self." I was rather passionate in explaining that I was far more "suppressed" back when I was in the gay lifestyle because that was NEVER who I really was or what God had created me for.  My life has been infinitely better in every way shape and form since I turned to Christ and began pursuing His will for my life.

For some reason I felt fearless during that interview. Ever since though I've been a lot more nervous. I know the program will probably create some negative backlash from the opposing side, but I'm not sure if any of that will affect me personally. I haven't really told anyone about it other than in vague reference. (For some reason it was so much easier just talking to the 'nice lady with a camera').

They filmed us for 14 hours. No matter how they edit it, there will be parts that will embarrass and humiliate me. A priest from Courage explained to me though that even in a worse case scenario "God's work will still succeed even if the rest of the world sees it as a failure." The mission for this program is the souls that will be reached even if the rest of the spectators do not understand it.

Anyway, I'd really appreciate your prayers. I really hope this turns out well and gets the message out to those who really need to hear it. I know they will show the other side also, but I hope they give us a fair presentation.  This will air on ABC Nightline sometime in the next 2-6 weeks (not sure when yet). The audience is about 1.5 million people.

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

"Lucky for me no one I know reads your little TIME magazine...or whatever it's called."  - Derek Zoolander

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 Update: The program aired on Monday November 22nd and they cut out our group interview (so I was only seen a few times in the background which was a relief:)