Please join us in prayer or let us pray for you

In Joel 2:25, we would like to keep YOU in our prayers. In addition to the video-conference support groups, participants gather in small groups at several different times each day to pray using our 24-Hour Prayer Teleconference line.

Currently, we have two establish daily groups that meet at the same time each day for Lauds (Morning Prayer) and Compline (Night Prayer). The prayers we use for each day are available online at:http://universalis.com/

Our dedicated prayer line is up 24/7 so we hope we can add more daily groups soon including Charismatic, evangelical, and Greek Orthodox groups.

If there is anything we can pray for you about or if you would like to join us in one of our prayer groups, please contact us: http://joel225.com/joel_021.htm

2013 has been an Amazing Year!

2013 has been an amazing year!

I have continued to be bless abundantly with opportunities to reach out, encourage, and support others who are making this same journey. I have also received more support, friendship, and real love than ever before. 

The group I has started (originally in my living room) has grown to over 320 men and women from 63 countries who participate via video-conferences. We have formed a non-profit corporation with bylaws and a Board of Directors and have begun the process of becoming a 501c3. Our 15 Small Groups are doing well and I'm blessed to know so many wonderful men and women who have been willing to volunteer to help lead groups and minister to others.

Our nightly prayer group has been meeting every night at 10:30pm for about six months now and my dad has even started joining us. That has been really AWESOME!  We are also starting a Morning Prayer group in January. 

While ALL Joel 2:25 meetings, video-conferences, and support services are FREE and ALWAYS WILL BE, there are many costs that incur to support the growing needs. There are also many things we would like to be able to do to provide more help if the funds were available.

IF you feel led, please consider partnering with us in prayer and if possible financial support: http://joel225.com/joel_021.htm. Also (regardless of whether you can help us), please let us know if there is anything we can be praying for YOU about.

Pax Christi and have a blessed 2014!

Jeremy
http://www.Joel225.com
Map of Joel 2:25 Participants:

Seven days of prayer/fasting for Women with Same-Sex Attraction (SSA)

In Joel 2:25 (http://www.Joel225.com), we currently have 14 small groups for guys in different languages and stages of life. We have been having men who are in other groups gather to pray while one group is meeting. (i.g. guys from the Spanish group praying for the Russian group, English group praying for the Portuguese group, Italians, German, etc.)

This past weekend, the men of Joel 2:25 began seven days of fasting and prayer / fasting for a major new group that we are starting for women. We've discussed in our men's groups that one of our roles as men is to wake up our Warrior archetype. In this case, we are dealing with major Spiritual warfare. This will be the first video-conference group of it's kind for Women with SSA. Our sisters will be embarking on a major journey with women from four countries already on board. It is important that we as men step up and fight for them on this battlefield by storming heaven with prayer and fasting over the next seven days.

Anyway, I'd like to ask you to join us in praying for the women of Joel 2:25 and for all women with SSA.

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

Joel 2:25 International, support & resources for overcoming Same-Sex Attraction

It's been a while since, I've posted here. 

I've been really busy this past year with ministry work. I started a small group at my house two years ago. Our group is called "Joel 2:25"  http://www.Joel225.com 

About a year ago we expanded and started having others join our meetings through video-conference from other countries. Now, we have 12 bi-weekly "Small Groups" and 215 guys from 55 countries participating in one form or another each month. The group is still primarily Catholic, but we have also had several protestants participating and most recently several Muslims and Jews. 

The reason I'm writing to ask for your prayers. We are in the process of completing the formal structure of the ministry. I've never done anything like that before, so it's a little daunting, but we are moving along pretty well so far. 

We are doing what we can though. We have small groups in English, Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, Italian and Polish right now. We are working on starting groups in Arabic, German and French as well as a group for Women. I also really feel led to start a group to help teens with SSA and their families. I'll post more about that idea in my next post. It will be different from our current format.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. Please keep us in your prayers. Also, if you know anyone who could benefit, please let them know about our group.

Pax Christi,

Jeremy

http://www.Joel225.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Joel225MANS

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Joel_225

AWESOME Video that Facebook blocked as "Hate"

AWESOME VIDEO!
Esto Vir! - Be a Man!
(P.S. Facebook blocked this video as "Hate")

Please pray for everyone at JONAH

Please continue to pray for everyone else at JONAH (the Jewish version of Courage) as they continue to battle for the freedom to help men and women with SSA. They are facing a frivolous lawsuit which is designed to bankrupt them. Many other SSA ministries - which are being continuously receiving subpoenas and forced to spend hundreds of thousands on legal fees to defend themselves even though they are not defendants.

This past Friday the judge refused their motion for dismissal so the Discovery phase will drag into 2014 and the legal fees will exceed $1,000,000. This includes the cost of time and travel for depositions, engaging expert witnesses, doing research, and keeping up with the barrage of both superfluous and essential requests coming from the plaintiffs.

Your financial support in any amount is deeply appreciated and can be directed to either the Freedom of Conscience Defense Fund at  www.ConscienceDefense.org, or to JONAH at www.jonahweb.org. Please feel to share this letter with anyone who would be sympathetic to our cause.

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your position for such a time as this?” - Esther 4:14

Trust, Open, Surrender?

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Even the hairs of your head are all numbered. - Luke 12:7 and Matthew 10:30

I know that we have all read opinions and political statements on Homosexuality and for almost every other issue of morality as well. For an individual Christian who experiences Same-Sex Attraction, the flood of arguments and opinions are daunting.  

I was raised Baptist, but started going to a "Gay Church" when I was in High School and off and on in my 20's. I wanted to believe what they taught about homosexuality, but knew that there were many who would disagree. 

I worried that if the traditional christian teaching was correct, than I had a challenge ahead of me. I had not yet been able to simply "Pray away the Gay" and I wasn't so sure that anyone else had either. 

I started to realized though that IF the "gay church" was correct, than that only meant that God didn't have a plan for my life at all. They provided arguments that the scriptural references regarding homosexuality were not concrete or relevant to modern understanding, but there was no evidence that this was some new kind of Vocation or that my life would have any positive meaning or purpose due to these new loopholes. (I'll write a separate post about those arguments and discuss each "side" another time)

For a while, I thought I could be truly "objective" and analyze each side's arguments from a purely academic perspective. I realized quickly though that it would take decades of rigorous study in Psychology, Theology, Hebrew, and Greek before I would even be able to make an educated guess about which "side" was right. (I'll wait to comment on Sola Scriptura another time)

There were times I aligned myself with each "side" and was welcomed warmly and joyfully. I have no doubt that everyone who is passionate about this issue (even those I disagree with) have positive intentions. I have also faced disappointment with individuals and organizations on both "sides."  No human being who has a perfect answer to make everything easy and simple. There are three very important questions though that we all choose to answer not just with Same-Sex Attraction, but with everything else in our lives:

1. Do I TRUST that God has a detailed plan and purpose for my life?
2. Am I OPEN to hearing what that is, even if it's not what I currently want it be?
3. Am I willing to SURRENDER my own will, identity, and plans to accept His will for me?

Conscious or not, we choose to answer these every single day. For most of my life, I answered "NO!" Nowadays, I choose to answer "Yes" more frequently, but I still have a ways to go. These are very tough questions. If you think these are easy, then read them again.  

If however, you might be willing to answer "Yes" to all three (even for just one day), please pray with me right now:

Jesus,
I surrender to you today with all my heart and soul. Please come into my heart in a deeper way. I say, “Yes” to you today. I open all the secret places of my heart to you and say, “Come on in.” Jesus, you are the Lord of my whole life. I believe in you and receive you as my Lord and Savior. I hold nothing back.

Holy Spirit, bring me to a deeper conversion to the person of Jesus Christ. I surrender all to you: my will, my plans for the future, my relationships, my work, successes and failures. I release it and let it go because I trust that YOU have plans for me - plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.

I surrender my understanding of how things ‘ought’ to be, my choices and my will. I surrender to you the promises I have kept and the promises I have failed to keep. I surrender my weaknesses and strengths to you. I surrender my emotions, my fears, my insecurities, my sexuality. I especially surrender _________ (Here mention other areas of surrender as the Holy Spirit reveals them to you.) Lord, I surrender my whole life to you, the past, the present, and the future. In sickness and in health, in life and in death, I belong to you.

Amen

As you know from the rest of my blog, I prayed this prayer after having lived in gay relationships for several years. At the time, I thought that all I wanted was for God to restore my relationship with Tim, my live-in partner who had left. It was very difficult for me to let go and trust God with the outcome of All three questions. I was most afraid that it might lead me... well... to exactly the path I am on today. The path hasn't been easy, but it has brought real happiness and fulfillment to my life. I have been happier the last three years than ever before in my life and it's gets even better every day. 

Pax Christi,
Jeremy
http://www.Joel225.org
Jeremy@Joel225.org

Equally Confusing

I had to apologize to a few of my close friends earlier for losing my temper and making some uncharitable comments in response to their decisions to post the HRC's logo this week on their Facebook profiles in support of redefining Marriage

I explained that my disapproval was NOT about politics. I DO respect their variety of political views and of course the rights of everyone to express those views however they choose.
 
My own calling and mission the last two years has included affirming and encouraging healing for wounded men and women and leading them to the Lord (regardless of orientation). I host four ongoing groups of men in my living room. One of the groups is not related to homosexuality and the other three are for guys in different stages of recovery from homosexuality. I spend an hour or two every night on the phone with guys from all over and about 5 or 6 hours every Sunday. I get really tired sometimes of having to talk about that subject. It has been WORTH it though to be able to play a small part in seeing others heal.

“He did not study God; he was dazzled by him.”

If you have not yet seen Les Misérables, what are you waiting for?

I haven't seen a live performance of the musical so I can't compare it directly, but I love the book! Victor Hugo's epic is filled with demonstrations of Christ's transformational grace and this new film carried it well. I saw it a few weeks ago and started weeping at the end. It's absolutely amazing :)

This is one of my favorite paragraphs in the book (after Jean Valjean is dragged in my by the police and the Bishop gives him MORE than he originally stole)

“'Do not forget, do not ever forget, that you have promised me to use the money to make yourself an honest man.'Valjean, who did not recall having made any promise, was silent. The bishop had spoken the words slowly and deliberately. He concluded with a solemn emphasis:

'Jean Valjean, my brother, you no longer belong to what is evil but to what is good. I have bought your soul to save it from black thoughts and the spirit of perdition, and I give it to God.'”

 Here is that full scene from the 1998 movie with Liam Neeson and Peter Vaughan

I'm not half the man that Jean Valjean became, but I've experienced the transformational power of  Christ's grace. He has transformed my life in the same radical way. I can also relate to having someone follow you around singing ♫♫"Men like you can never change!" ♫♫  ;)

Pax Christi,
Jeremy


P.S.: Here are some other great quotes from the book: 

"The pupil dilates in darkness and in the end finds light, just as the soul dilates in misfortune and in the end finds God.”  

“...But listen, there will be more joy in heaven over the tears of a repentant sinner than over the white robes of a hundred just men.” 

“Not seeing people permits us to imagine them with every perfection.” 

“For there are many great deeds done in the small struggles of life.”  

“God knows better than we do what we need.” 

“He who despairs is wrong.” 

“We need those who pray constantly to compensate for those who do not pray at all.”  

“There are things stronger than the strongest man...”

“...Man lives by affirmation even more than he does by bread.” 

“The delight we inspire in others has this enchanting peculiarity that, far from being diminished like every other reflection, it returns to us more radiant than ever.” 

“To destroy abuses is not enough; Habits must also be changed. The windmill has gone, but the wind is still there." - old man G--- to Monseigneur Bienvenu Myriel

― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

"Come Back to God"

I just ran across this awesome video and wanted to share it. It's a message from the Patriarch of Alexandria (Egypt) leader of the Coptic Orthodox Church titled: "Come back to God." It's an awesome message and really interesting from an Arab-Christian perspective.

 

I found it on (4/25) when I was looking for a video about the Feast Day of St. Mark, the evangelist, apostle, and author of the shortest Gospel. As you may already know, the patriarch of Alexandria (Pope Shenouda III) is considered the "successor of St. Mark" just as the bishop of Rome (Pope Benedict XVI) is the "successor of St. Peter."  St. Mark brought Christianity to Alexandria in 48 A.D. and was martyred there in 68 A.D.

"Let the Lower Lights be Burning"

"my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge." - Hosea 4:6

In 1871, a ship was approaching the harbor of Cleveland. The captain, noticing only one light as they drew near — that from the lighthouse —asked the pilot if he was quite sure that it was Cleveland harbor, as other lights should have been burning to illuminate the rocks along the harbor mouth. The pilot replied that he was quite sure it was Cleveland, whereupon the captain inquired:

'Where are the low­er lights to mark the shore?'
'Gone out, sir.'
'Can you make the har­bor?'
'We must, or we will per­ish, sir!'

And with a strong hand and a brave heart, the old pi­lot turned the wheel. But alas, in the dark­ness he missed the channel, and with a crash upon the rocks the boat was shiv­ered, and ma­ny lives were lost in a wat­ery grave.

 
As D.L. Moody related the news of this maritime disaster to his congregation, he made this appeal:

"The Mas­ter will take care of the great light-house: let us keep the low­er lights burn­ing!"

Among Moody’s hearers that evening was Mr. Philip P. Bliss, the well-known hymn writer, and the striking story at once suggested to him one of his most popular hymns: "Let the Lower Lights Be Burning."

This song is really powerful for me because so many of my friends and I wrecked our lives on the rocks (just like that ship) in part because the "Lower Lights" that should have been burning were forcefully extinguished in the name of "Tolerance." 

As I started to describe in my (1/8/2013) post "St. Joseph, the Navy Seal," the ministry and evangelism efforts that I've felt God has led me to over the past year has been all about frantically lighting "the lower lights." 

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father." - Matthew 5:14-16

Real LOVE

In this video, my friend Blake shares some powerful insights as he explains why he chose Christ and decided to leave behind gay relationships.  

Check out his other videos which are also really powerful:

LOVE  

FREE LOVE

NATURAL LOVE

GAY LOVE

EQUAL LOVE

RIGHTFUL LOVE

Pax Christi,

Jeremy

http://www.Joel225.org
Jeremy@Joel225.org
  

P.S.: I shared some of my own similar experiences in my post titled: "Response to my old 'gay bible study' group" - September 2010

"Pray for her!"

I started to pray silently "Lord, bless her... I hope she has a great day..." Then the voice was a bit more direct:  "PRAY FOR HER!"

I felt awkward, but I tried to strike up a conversation by saying "hello." She said "hello" back but didn't say anything else. I thought "well, I tried.. That's all I can do." Finally I turned to her and asked directly if I could pray for her. Then I noticed that her eyes were watering. 

Text from last night: "Fallen in Love"

A few weeks ago, a guy came to our meeting who had recently come into the church and seemed to be struggling emotionally. I talked with him afterward about his journey and the various opportunities for support and healing. He seemed interested, but not fully committed. Last night (around midnight), I was in bed when I woke up too see a text from him saying  "I've fallen in love with someone who loves me back for the first time."  

Three of my old Gay friends are choosing Christ

Wow!
In the last two days, I've received calls from TWO guys that I used to know when I was in the gay lifestyle. Both called to look for help in getting OUT of it. One of them met with a Christian counselor tonight and the other one is checking out the NARTH and Courage websites right now.

I also found out last year that one other guy I had dated (briefly back in 2003) has also left the gay lifestyle through an Exodus International ministry. God is AWESOME!

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

Learning to (really) LOVE - a slow process for me

I got an email last week from a guy who seemed at first like he just wanted to argue with me. I ended talking with on the phone and after a few minutes I really wanted to hang up. He was throwing out arguments about "gay love" and gay-marriage etc.

In the past, I would have struggled with wanting to believe those arguments. Now, they just make me angry. I guess a lot of that anger comes from my own emotional wounding. It's difficult to separate that though and not unleash that on someone else. 

I also get frustrated because I really want to show compassion, but I also believe in Absolutes and absolute truth. It is not compassion to withhold important Truths and/or to endorse someone's destruction based on political correctness. To me, when a friend says that they are "happy" about their newest "gay relationship" it is the same as a heroin addict telling me that they are "happy" that they got their latest "fix."  What am I supposed to say? "That's great! I'm happy for you?"  I am saddened and worried for them.

I started asking him more pointed questions and guide the conversation toward his core emotions and wounds. He resisted at first, but more and more he started opening up and expressing his anger, then sadness, and grief. He was in a gay relationship that just ended last week (the day he decided to contact me). He was still holding out hope that the illusion of "gay love" was real and he seemed really angry at me for insisting that it does NOT exist and that homosexuality destroys love. 

I didn't let go of my position or assent to his, but I resisted the urge to argue as well. I just kept asking questions about HIM and HIS feelings and encouraged him to focus on that for now ("and we can talk about religion and politics later"). 

Without arguing, I found a few opportunities to gently point out that what I was hearing him say was that he wanted real love. He grew up in a Christian home and even briefly visited a local ex-gay ministry.

I pointed out to him that REAL love from our mutual religious background is described in 1 Corinthians 13 as:  

"patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, it is not proud. does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs,does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

I couldn't restrain myself from blurting out though that these adjectives are the POLAR opposite of every gay relationship I ever saw in 12 years. Not because the individuals were bad, but the relationship themselves were based on each person's emotional disorder. 

I prayed and fasted for him (and myself) for two days. I listened to his anger and ranting; while praying and restraining my own reactions. I wanted to show him REAL LOVE and avoid judgement. I have no room to judge anyone. I was in the same trap for 12 years. I just want him to see the truth and avoid making the same mistakes I made. 

After two days of hearing his anger (which seemed directed at me at first, but then seemed to lessen), he went to grief and sadness. 
He texted me saying:  

"I really just need to cry." 

I called him and encouraged him to go into that grief (something he usually tries to avoid).

He seemed to get a lot better the next day. He said he has decided that he really wants his relationship to God to be more important, but said he wasn't sure if he was ready to let go of his "need" for a romantic relationship with a guy. He seemed to be really aware that his boyfriend's "love" was the polar opposite of 1 Corinthians 13. 

On Sunday night two JiM brothers invited me to meet them at a restaurant near here. After describing this situation to them, I texted him and invited him to join us. I had explained to him about Journey into Manhood and the groups I lead on Sunday afternoons called M.A.N.S. meetings (Masculinity, Authenticity, Need Fulfillment, and Surrender), but I think he forgot that I had said these were JiM bros.

After they left, he said it was the first time he has "felt comfortable relating to a group of straight guys.” He had no idea that they were SSA. (I thought it was funny that they jammed his Gaydar). He seemed amazed when I explained that they friends from JiM. He seems to be really grasping the concept that real change and growth is possible.

Please keep my friend in your prayers. Also, please pray that I will learn to show REAL love and compassion to others without judging them, but also being authentic with objective Truth. I still have a lot of learning and growth ahead of me before I can be a good instrument for conveying God's love.

Pax Christi,

Jeremy

"You're just bothering people. No one wants to hear from You!"

Last September, I started writing to church pastors and christian counselors about my own experiences in coming out of the "gay lifestyle" and I included information on ministries in their area (like the Courage Apostolate or Exodus International affiliate) as well as other resources in their area (like JiM weekends, Courage Sports Camp, and Adventure in Manhood) 

I started out writing them all by hand, but then started printing them so I could get them out faster. I still hand-address all of them though. Some of the called me to tell me they didn't know of anyone in their church who struggled with homosexuality, but that they would keep the information handy for the future. (I told them they should just start asking people. j/k ;)

So far, I've sent about 620 letters and I still feel like I should keep writing, but I have a lot of doubts and fears about how these are being received and IF I'm even doing any good or just wasting a lot of money and time. I have a lot of doubts about whether this was the right thing to do or if I was just freaking people out by writing them about THIS issue and even telling them my testimony (3-sentence high-level summary). I didn't specifically ask anyone to respond to me so it's ok that I haven't heard from most of them, but I have a hard time not telling myself stories about what they must be thinking. 

I got a few negative responses last week and another one today. One pastor in Rhode Island seemed really angry with me and emailed me to say:  

"You need to get a life! Don't ever contact me again!" 

Awesome text meesage - just now

A few weeks ago, I met a guy through a friend in my bible study group who had just recently decided to turn his life over to Christ and leave the gay lifestyle. It was 3 days after our Texas Journey into Manhood weekend in Houston and the program won't be offered here again for another year. I knew it would be one of the best ways for him to get started on the journey and I was praying for a way for him to go. I discovered I had just enough airline miles to get a plane ticket for him to go to the JiM weekend in Florida. I dropped him off at the airport Friday morning and had been praying for him all weekend.

I texted him just now to ask how his weekend went. I got this text back a few seconds later:  

Divine Appointment "in the Gayberhood"

I had a really interesting (challenging, but rewarding) experience last night with my guys' bible study group.
(this is the group I mentioned before where we shot the propane tank with the AK 47 on our last retreat: see video here: http://youtu.be/QeTz8efOoEc).

Most of the guys are evangelical protestant. I'm probably the only Catholic in the group, but we've gotten along pretty well. Last night, my friend Jason was leading and he started talking about this concept called "Divine Appointments." It's a bit of Charismatic thing I guess, but mostly it required more boldness than anything else.

He started by asking us to pray for a while and listen for God to speak and to reveal one person to each of us that we needed to pray for or talk to that night.

Then he told us first to ask God to reveal to us a place / location and to write down the first thing that came to mind. At first I saw this cafe in my head, but I kept telling myself "no" because it's in the gay part of town and I KNEW God wouldn't want me going there.

Then Jason said:

"The 1st voice you hear is God's voice. The 2nd voice is you trying to talk yourself out of what you heard from God and the 3rd voice is Satan trying to convince you that you were right and that couldn't have been from God." 

So, I went ahead and reluctantly wrote down "Cafe Brazil in Oaklawn."

Then we were supposed to write down anything that came to mind about a person. I thought of someone wearing a "white sweater, blue jeans and white tennis shoes" - so I wrote that down. Then I thought "No person in Oaklawn would be caught dead wearing THAT!...hello, fashion police?!"  ;)

Anyway, I wanted to scratch it all out, but I left it alone

When everyone was finished and we ended up splitting into small groups and getting into cars to go find the persons we had described and pray with or evangelize them. I was really nervous and freaked out - leading two of my non-SSA friends (who didn't yet know about MY SSA) right into Dallas's GAYberhood. I hadn't been there myself in over a year and it's always a place where people are Lewd, Crude, and Socially Unacceptable (24 hours a day!)

We got there and I started saying "Let's go to a DIFFERENT Cafe Brazil" I'm sure it can't be this one!" but my friends said "NO! We're going here first. It's what YOU wrote down." 

We walked up and there was a guy standing right in the doorway wearing a white sweatshirt, blue jeans, and white tennis shoes.I could tell he was SSA and I froze up.

Jason asked "Is that him? Is that your guy?"

My Best Friend's Wedding and Luke 14:7-11

I had a really AWESOME experience this past weekend with my friend Ryan's wedding and ironically it tied in perfectly with Saturday's Gospel reading (below).

Ryan is an OSA (opposite-sex attracted) friend that I met a year ago when I first started coming out of the lifestyle and started going to The Retreat (my Tuesday night guys' bible study group).  Prior to this past year I had always had the lowest of expectations when it came to friendships with OSA guys. I didn't expect rejection from them necessarily, but I had always expected them to be indifferent to me. This was because since I was 15, I had been in the gay lifestyle - relating to men solely in unhealthy ways and seeing that as my ONLY value to other men.

I spent the past year struggling to break free of those old mindsets and Ryan and Jason were two of the friends who helped me a lot. They both witnessed the graphic details of my struggle to break free and stayed in the fight with me. Their Christ-centered love was amazing. They've been amazing role models for me in terms of healthy non-ssa friendships.

Ryan is also a very outgoing guy with tons of friends that have been close to him for years (some since childhood, others from college, etc.) I've always felt secure in the friendship - whereas in the past I would have defensively detached early on (assuming I couldn't "compete" or "offer anything" --- my old SSA ways of thinking). I didn't fall into that mindset with this friendship and that enabled me to be blessed abundantly with a very healthy and mutually affirming friendship.

This past weekend was Ryan's wedding and I was asked to be an usher and I felt honored to be asked to fill that role (especially since he has a LOT of close friends he could have asked).

During the reception I was helping the family coordinate with the DJ and caterers. I hadn't thought to look for a place to sit initially. I'm used to being invited to big political fund-raising dinners by working behind the scenes. At those events they never remember to assign a seat for me and the coordinators there usually tell me to "just look for an empty seat and take it."  I've never thought much of it since at those events I'm usually too busy to sit down and eat anyway.

Saturday night though, someone asked me where I was "sitting." I answered, "well, I'm not sure. It's not a big deal." They said, "well, where are you assigned?" I said, "what do you mean?"  They pointed to a string that was hanging up with Name cards and table assignments. There were only a few cards left. I hadn't even thought of looking at it because I didn't expect that they would put MY name up there.

I finally looked and was surprised to see my name. I pulled the card and looked at the table number. I looked to the very front and saw that my table included the wedding party. I almost cried actually. I thought that it must be a mistake. I didn't feel worthy to be at the "Main" table.

Back in March, when I started going to daily mass (a few times a week), I also started reading the Bible each day. I chose to follow the Roman Liturgical (daily mass) calendar at first because it is relatively short, but also so I could follow the Christian calendar and form my life by the events of life of Christ (that the calendar models). I'd been helping setup for the wedding so I didn't get to read the Saturday reading until I got home (after midnight).
Here is the Gospel reading for Saturday Oct 31, 2010:

He told a parable to those who had been invited,
noticing how they were choosing the places of honor at the table."When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not recline at table in the place of honor. A more distinguished guest than you may have been invited by him, and the host who invited both of you may approach you and say,

‘Give your place to this man,’ and then you would proceed with embarrassment to take the lowest place. Rather, when you are invited,
go and take the lowest place so that when the host comes to you he may say, ‘My friend, move up to a higher position.’ Then you will enjoy the esteem of your companions at the table. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”  - Luke 14:7-11

Pax Christi,
Jeremy