Showing posts with label Same-Sex Attraction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Same-Sex Attraction. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

The APA is Wrong about Homosexuality and Gender Identity Disorder

I often hear people refer to the APA (American Psychological Association) and their stated beliefs that Homosexuality and Gender Identity Dysphoria are no longer "mental disorders." 

I want to discuss this, but first let me explain that in MY view, the term "mental disorder" or "disorder" is not intended as an insult or a shaming statement at all. In fact, for me personally, it was a huge relief of shame - because I finally realized and was affirmed in the fact that my Same-Sex Attraction was not my fault and was not a "choice" nor was it simply a spiritual problem that I "just hadn't prayed enough." 

I also want to point out that for something to be a "disorder" does not necessarily mean that there is an easy "cure."  Many physical and mental challenges are not "curable" and most that are today were not even treatable a few hundred years ago. The effectiveness of therapy or other remedies is something I can discuss later in an other post. It is not relevant to the question of whether Erroticized Same-Sex Attraction or Gender Dysphoria are or are not "disorders." 

When I started Joel 2:25 International (Facebook.com/Joel225International) I consulted with over 200 psychologists, psychotherapists, and licensed professional counselors who assist individuals like myself with healing from Same-Sex Attraction Disorder.  Most of them are also members of the APA - even though they publicly disagree with some of the APA's current positions.
The difference between their views and the APA is a philosophical viewpoint. The APA has adopted a Social Constructionist philosophy and rejected the original Essentialist philosophy.

Here is a perfect example of the Social Constructionist philosophy at work in the mental health field: 

A 30 year old lady named Jewel Shuping went to a Social Constructionist therapist and said that she had always believed she was "supposed to have been born blind." At the time, Miss Shuping had perfectly good eyesight. 

Miss Shuping went to an psychologist who ascribes to the APA's current philosophy of Social Constructionism. This APA-approved psychologist gave her eye-numbing drops and then sprinkled drain cleaner into each pupil - which caused her to go blind.

If she had gone to one of the 200 psychologists that I identified, who subscribe to the Essentialist viewpoint, they would have focused on treating her "Body Identity Integrity Disorder" and at least attempted to help her accept her own body and her own eyesight while working to resolve whatever emotional traumas or wounds may have caused her to desire to be blind.

Essentialists such as myself, believe as Plato, Aristotle, and all monotheistic religions have taught for the past 5,000+ years that for any specific entity (human or animal), there is a set of attributes which are necessary to its identity and function.

We believe that gender identity and sexual orientation are grounded in biological reality. Our body tells us who we are.. I believe it is harmful (and an act of Shadow) whenever we attempt to construct or assemble/ disassemble a different reality in which gender and sexual identity are out of synchrony with biology. 

Let's examine a hypothetical situation (which is probably already real life example in some places) 

"John," a teenager in California, says that he believes he was born to be a coffee table and that he desperately wants to be a table. He goes to a therapist for "help." 

An Essentialist therapist would get to work to understand what led him to this and what wounds or traumas he has that may need healing.

A Social Constructionist therapist would arrange for him to have his legs amputated at the knees and for him to undergo multiple surgeries so that his arms and legs will bend at the same angle and reach the same level so that he can more resemble a coffee table. - After all, that's what he was "born to be." 




If a man has male genitalia and male chromosomes (XY) and yet believes that he was born to be a female, he has a disorder. I believe he needs compassion and it is likely he has suffered a LOT of emotional pain in his life which has led to this. I do not know if there is a "cure" but I do know that injecting hormones and mutilating his body is not the answer. It is also the opposite of compassion to send him to the Ladies' restroom. There is nothing compassionate about that. What he needs is real compassion and to eventually accept the reality that he is a man.

The "gay" identity that I embraced for over twelve years of my life was a false construct. The human body is designed very clearly for heterosexuality. There are no men or women whose reproductive systems are designed to create new life through sexual intercourse with members of their own gender. The primary purpose of sexual intercourse in the creation of new life. The secondary purpose is the marital bond and life-long relationship between the husband and wife. 

Even if one rejects pro-creation and marriage, there are psychological injuries that occur when sexual relationships occur without monogamy and without the gender compatibility of male and female. "Gay" identified psychologist Daryl Bem explains in his "Exotic Becomes Erotic" model that
  "what is exotic - that is, mysterious - to a boy in childhood is what will become erotic to him in adulthood." 
This Social Constructionist gay activist does not seem to recognize the fact that it is at least problematic for a boy to see masculinity as "exotic" something outside of himself. He clearly does not understand that normality is that which functions according to its design. 

Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, a Catholic psychologist who embraces the Essentialist viewpoint responded to Bem: 
"When a man finds masculinity mysterious and exotic, and seeks it outside himself, we believe he is living in a false self and something is not working.”
By design, two members of the same gender are also incompatible for romantic love. The draw to this type of relationship is driven by emotional wounds and unmet emotional needs. Pursuing that type of bond deepens those wounds, destroys real love, and causes psychological harm to both individuals. That does not mean that individuals in theses situations are incapable of real love,  but to the extent that real Love is present, it is despite the nature of the relationship, rather than because of it.

I realize what I've said here will offend many people. This is more than an abstract argument or judgement. In addition to looking at 5,000+ years of human experience, I also came to this conclusion after examining all of my own past relationships and that of everyone else I had observed over several years. These included (most especially) those "long term gay couples" who had stayed together for 20+ years. They seemed even worse off than the individuals who simply "hooked up" randomly. The emotional harm from this arrested state of development was really pronounced in every aspect of their lives.



The viewpoint that humanity is designed for heterosexuality is not a phobia or pathological fear and it is not bigotry. Natural Law philosophy says that this view derives from humankind's collective, intuitive knowledge - a natural instinctive conscience.

Social Constructionism in the Religious Context
When I was in my teens and 20's, I went to several "gay friendly" churches and tried to convince myself that they were right. All of them attempted to explain that (in their interpretation) the scriptures were not really referring to homosexuality or at least not "committed monogamous gay couples."

Even though they seemed to convince themselves that the behavior was not a "sin," they never even attempted to explain how this was some new kind of "vocation" or calling and/or that it was part of God's plan. The best they could do was make the assumption that God just didn't have a plan. They were applying the same Social Constructionist logic to the divine and this manifested itself in several areas.

The "gay friendly" churches I attended all initially seemed to be like a normal mainstream Christian church with the only exception being their "enlightened" views on homosexuality. In a very short time though, I began to notice many other changes. In one church, for example, they began skipping over large sections of the Bible within our bible study groups. In another, they initially had been ending their prayers by saying "in Jesus name we pray" and then changed this to "In your many names, we pray."

At the root of Social Construction and the attack on Essentialism is the denial of the existence of absolute Truth. Atheist Richard Dawkins repeatedly refers to Essentialism as a "moralistic infection." In a 2014 article here he argues for why Essentialsm should be forceably "retired:"
"does an embryo become a 'person'? Only a mind infected with essentialism would ask such questions. An embryo develops gradually from single-celled zygote to newborn baby, and there’s no one instant when 'personhood' should be deemed to have arrived. It would be better—though still not ideal—to say the embryo goes through stages of being a quarter human, half human, three quarters human . . . 

Abortion would no more be 'murder' than killing a chimpanzee—or, by extension, any animal. Indeed an early-stage human embryo might defensibly be afforded less moral protection than an adult pig, which is clearly well equipped to suffer. The essentialist urge toward rigid definitions of 'human' (in debates over abortion and animal rights) and "alive" (in debates over euthanasia and end-of-life decisions) makes no sense in the light of evolution and other gradualistic phenomena."

- atheist Richard Dawkins, author of The God Delusion
Since Social Constructionism elevates human will above physical reality and even God's will; it does not take long before it attempts to deconstruct monotheism in its entirety. I have personally come to the conclusion that to believe people are "born TO BE gay" really requires a fundamental denial of the existence of God.
Pax Christi,

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Setting Love in Order

One book that has helped me tremendously is Setting Love in Order by Fr. Mario Bergner. 



This is his personal journey out the "gay" identity and life and through healing of his Same-Sex Attraction. This is a powerful book and quick read. It details many of the common underlying emotional wounds that drive Same-Sex Attraction, but also provides a blueprint for understand the path of healing. I highly recommend it. You can order the book here: http://www.redeemedlives.org/books
(It is available in printed and electronic formats in English, Chinese, Czech, Dutch, Finnish, French, German, Italian, Latvian, Portuguese, Russian, and Swedish


Anyway, I am excited to announce that Fr. Mario Bergner will be our special guest speaker for our Joel 2:25 full-group video-conference this coming Sunday January 24th at 3:00 PM Texas time (21:00 GMT).
https://rightsignature.com/forms/Joel-2-25-Partici-55e0b2/token/410568c383a







If you would like to join us, please email me at: Jeremy@Joel225.org  

Note: You will need to sign our Participant Agreement form which is available here: 

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

Jeremy@Joel225.org
http://www.Joel225.org

P.S.: We have a full-group meeting with a guest speaker on the fourth Sunday of each month. Here are our upcoming guests: http://www.Joel225.org/j225_003.htm

Friday, January 9, 2015

Next week's Journey into Manhood weekend is completely FULL



Journey Into Manhood is a 48-hour immersion in intensive emotional-healing work, designed specifically for men who are self-motivated and serious about resolving unwanted homosexual attractions.



I went in 2009 and it opened up a whole new world for me - leading to major healing and restoration. 



Here is a short interview I gave about my own experience: 


Next week's Journey into Manhood weekend in Israel is completely FULL, but there are still a few opportunities for 2015: 

  • Feb 27-Mar 1, 2015: Florida
  • Mar 20-22, 2015: Arizona
  • May 22-24, 2015: Utah
  • May 29-31, 2015: Pennsylvania
  • Sep 11-13, 2015: Indiana
  • Oct 2-4, 2015: Texas
  • Oct 16-18, 2015: Poland
Click here to register: http://www.PeopleCanChange.com/jim


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

NEW Joel 2:25 brochure!!!

We have finally finished our Joel 2:25 MANS brochure. You can download / print the PDF version here on our website:  http://www.Joel225.org


This brochure is already being distributed by several Catholic dioceses to their parishes and we plan to eventually get this and a female version to a variety of churches and counselors throughout the US, Canada, and Great Britain. Please here to help with these efforts: http://www.Joel225.org/Donate

Pax Christi,
Jeremy Schwab
Jeremy@Joel225.org



Monday, September 22, 2014

UKRAINIANS with Same-Sex Attraction


Here is the announcement regarding our NEW Ukrainian language video-conference support group and upcoming resources for Ukrainians with Same-Sex Attraction:

http://joel225.org/UkrainianAnnouncement

The first section is in Ukrainian, but the English translation is below.

Pax Christi,
Jeremy Schwab
Founder & Executive Director
Joel 2:25 International







Jeremy@Joel225.org
http://www.Joel225.org

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

New Groups & Opportunities for Healing in Indiana, California, & Texas

Hi, 
In our Joel 2:25 Online Chapel, we have been meeting every day for Lauds and Compline in English and Spanish. We are hoping to add a few new groups soon including Vespers and at least one Women's Prayer Group (our others are co-ed). If you or anyone you know would be interested in joining us, please let me know or check out our Online Chapel at: http://www.Joel225.org/JoelPrayer 

Also, I just found out that there are only a few spaces left for the upcoming Journey into Manhood (JiM) weekends in California, Indiana, and Texas.
  • September 19-21, 2014:  near Bloomington, Indiana
  • September 26-28, 2014: Southern California
  • October 17-19, 2014: near Houston, Texas


I would HIGHLY recommend this experience. It was a huge breakthrough for ME and many others that I know. Here is a short video where I talked about my own experience: 




To register for the JiM weekend, click here: http://www.PeopleCanChange.com/jim  There are sponsorships available and I have been told that everyone who applies for financial aide receive some kind of help - so don't let that stand in your way. It is worth 100 therapy sessions and well worth a flight, etc. 


Also, if anyone here (or anyone you know) can benefit, we are starting a new video-conference group in Ukrainian that will meet every Wednesday.  http://joel225.org/j225_016.htm Please email: Ukrainian@Joel225.org for more info. 

Pax Christi,
Jeremy Schwab


P.S.: Here is another video with more information on Journey into Manhood


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The Missionary Spirit of Radical Love

I love this quote from Archbishop Cordileone's speech. It embodies the missionary spirit of radical Love that we all must strive for.  - Jeremy
---------------------------------------
"To my fellow believers in Jesus Christ I would call our attention to those first generations of Christians in the city of Rome, who were so often scapegoated by the powerful pagan Roman government. 

But when a plague would strike the city and the well-to-do fled to the hills for safety until the plague subsided, it was the Christians who stayed behind to care for the sick, at great risk to thei
r own health and very lives. And not just the Christian sick: all the sick, regardless of religion, of how they lived their lives, or even what they thought of the Christians themselves. 


The historian Eusebius noted about the Christians of his time:

'All day long some of them tended to the dying and to their burial, countless numbers with no one to care for them. Others gathered together from all parts of the city a multitude of those withered from famine and distributed bread to them all.'
Likewise, the Emperor Julian complained to one of his pagan priests,

 '[They] support not only their poor, but ours as well.'
It is this kind of love and compassion in the service of truth, especially the truth of the human person, that has marked the lives of the holy ones of our own faith tradition and others as well: hospitals, orphanages, schools, outreach to the poor and destitute – giving without concern for getting anything in return, seeing in each human being, especially in the poor and destitute, a priceless child beloved by God, whom God calls to turn away from sin and toward Him, so that they might be saved." 

- Archbishop Cordileone of San Francisco - address to the March for Marriage (6/19/2014)


Full Text available here:
http://www.catholicworldreport.com/Blog/3201/abp_cordileones_speech_at_the_march_for_marriage_full_text.aspx

Monday, August 11, 2014

The Third Way - TONIGHT

Tonight, I'll be hosting a screening with others from Joel 2:25 at a church in the Fort Worth Diocese.

http://vimeo.com/93079367

This short film may provide more context than the news articles. This is NOT exclusively about "change" "curing" anyone's attractions, although I wouldn't rule out that possibility. I personally have experienced significant healing and change, but that's not what's most important. What is most important is freedom from shame and discovering REAL love and TRUTH.

Pax Christi,
Jeremy
Jeremy@Joel225.org


Friday, June 27, 2014

Republican Party of Texas vs. the APA - Infographic

The APA is the only public health organization claiming to have "studied" this issue. All others (the AMA, etc.) simply re-post and quote from the 2009 APA's "Task Force" report. I am amazed by the LACK of rigor involved in the APA's task force report which is quoted by so many as an "Authority."
(You may need to click on the pic to open it full screen)

Sunday, June 1, 2014

"Born this Way" ?? hmm...

This should be self-evident, but unfortunately today's philosophy has caused so much confusion. 
"Gender identity and sexual orientation are grounded in biological reality. The body tells us who we are, and we cannot 'construct' - assemble or disassemble - a different reality in which gender and sexual identity are out of synchrony with biology. We cannot have been 'created' for same-sex relationships whose very design makes biological parenthood impossible.
My clients have found homosexual behavior to be maladaptive to their lives. Their impetus for change comes from their deep conviction that underneath it all they really are heterosexual men, and they seek a therapist who sees their inner potential.
These men have an internal conviction that homosexuality is not merely wrong but that - on yet a broader dimension - homosexuality simply isn't 'True.'"
                                  - Dr. Joseph Nicolosi


I found this (above) while re-reading the introduction to 
Shame and Attachment Loss: The Practical Work of Reparative Therapy by Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D. of the Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic.


This is one of the best, most comprehensive books on understanding Same-Sex Attraction. I highly recommend it!

Pax Christi,
Jeremy
http://www.Joel225.org

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

My story and the benefits of Reparative Therapy & SOCE (Sexual Orientation Change Efforts)

I put this playlist together along with my own video interview to help share the TRUTH about Reparative Therapy which is one of the tools God used to save my life. I am so grateful to Dr. Nicolosi for his help. I also want to spread the TRUTH to those who have heard lies and misinformation. 



Those who say that Reparative Therapy is "harmful" have (in almost all cases) never tried or experienced ANY form of real Reparative Therapy. Those who did try it and who say that usually only did so for a very short while. In all cases, they are basing their accusations on politics rather than facts. Reparative Therapy uses all of the SAME modalities as any other therapy. 


The difference is that it respects the individual client's right to self-determination rather than imposing a modern pop-culture label and insisting that the individual must live an active "gay" life in order to be happy. Those of us with religious views are never going to find happiness by doing what we believe to be wrong. Only by finding truth, congruence within our faith, and self-compassion have we found real healing. THAT is the basis of Reparative Therapy.


#samesexattraction #SSA #homosexuality #exgay ex-gay lgbt gay ex-homosexual #SOCE Sexual Orientation Change Efforts#NARTH

Saturday, January 4, 2014

"Becoming a Whole Man" - by David Matheson

Here is a great new resource which is really excellent: http://becomingawholeman.com
Also the website for the "Center for Gender Wholeness": http://genderwholeness.com/

I highly recommend the book and the interactive website. The "Masculine Archetypes" that David Matheson describes are the "King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover." They are also referenced in many other men's programs - including the Promise Keepers

I actually have 8 books on my shelf right now about the "Masculine Archetypes" as well as one on the feminine archetypes. 

Anyway, this website is really awesome!  David Matheson is also one of the creators of the JiM weekend (Journey into Manhood) http://www.PeopleCanChange.com/jim I hope to have him come to one our Joel 2:25 meetings (http://www.Joel225.com) as a guest speaker later this year. 

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013 has been an Amazing Year!

2013 has been an amazing year!

I have continued to be bless abundantly with opportunities to reach out, encourage, and support others who are making this same journey. I have also received more support, friendship, and real love than ever before. 


The group I has started (originally in my living room) has grown to over 320 men and women from 63 countries who participate via video-conferences. We have formed a non-profit corporation with bylaws and a Board of Directors and have begun the process of becoming a 501c3. Our 15 Small Groups are doing well and I'm blessed to know so many wonderful men and women who have been willing to volunteer to help lead groups and minister to others.

Our nightly prayer group has been meeting every night at 10:30pm for about six months now and my dad has even started joining us. That has been really AWESOME!  We are also starting a Morning Prayer group in January. 

While ALL Joel 2:25 meetings, video-conferences, and support services are FREE and ALWAYS WILL BE, there are many costs that incur to support the growing needs. There are also many things we would like to be able to do to provide more help if the funds were available.

IF you feel led, please consider partnering with us in prayer and if possible financial support: http://joel225.com/joel_021.htm. Also (regardless of whether you can help us), please let us know if there is anything we can be praying for YOU about.

Pax Christi and have a blessed 2014!

Jeremy

http://www.Joel225.com
Map of Joel 2:25 Participants:


Monday, November 11, 2013

Seven days of prayer/fasting for Women with Same-Sex Attraction (SSA)

In Joel 2:25 (http://www.Joel225.com), we currently have 14 small groups for guys in different languages and stages of life. We have been having men who are in other groups gather to pray while one group is meeting. (i.g. guys from the Spanish group praying for the Russian group, English group praying for the Portuguese group, Italians, German, etc.)

This past weekend, the men of Joel 2:25 began seven days of fasting and prayer / fasting for a major new group that we are starting for women. We've discussed in our men's groups that one of our roles as men is to wake up our Warrior archetype. In this case, we are dealing with major Spiritual warfare. This will be the first video-conference group of it's kind for Women with SSA. Our sisters will be embarking on a major journey with women from four countries already on board. It is important that we as men step up and fight for them on this battlefield by storming heaven with prayer and fasting over the next seven days.

Anyway, I'd like to ask you to join us in praying for the women of Joel 2:25 and for all women with SSA.

Pax Christi,
Jeremy


Thursday, November 7, 2013

NEW group for PARENT's of Teens with Same-Sex Attraction

I got another email yesterday from a 16 year old seeking help with Same-Sex Attraction (SSA). In addition to the two 15 year olds who emailed a while back, this is starting to weigh on me. All of teens who have emailed me so far have said that they're parents were aware of their SSA and willing to give their written permission for them to participate in a support group. I've sent them all the links/resources as I knew of, but had to explain we do not yet have a Joel 2:25 group for them. I think it's time I stopped stalling though on getting the Parent's group together. 

If there are any Christian Counselors or pastoral leaders who might be willing to volunteer to help lead these, I'd love to talk with them.  I'm also asking guys in our "Young Adults" Small Group (under 27yo) to volunteer to help join these video-conferences and share THEIR experiences and insights with the parents.

I am envisioning this as being separate groups for Fathers and Mothers of Sons and Daughters with SSA or other confusions. 





Pax Christi,
Jeremy
http://www.Joel225.com

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

NEW Group for WOMEN with Unwanted Same-Sex Attraction (Joel225.com)

This is EXCITING NEWS!!!!!


The WOMEN of Joel have tentatively scheduled their first Small Group Video-Conference for Saturday November 16th at 2:00PM CST (20:00 GMT).

http://www.Joel225.com

 If you know a woman with SSA who would be interested, please encourage them to contact Carol at:  info@joel225.com

Here is our website with resources for Women with SSA: http://joel225.com/joel_014.htm
We will be adding a LOT more resources and information soon. :)

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

P.S.:  Here is a link for the Time Zone conversions (Event Time Announcer) for the Women's video-conference group. This covers every major city: http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?p1=34&iso=20131116T22&msg=Women%20of%20Joel%202%3a25%20-%20Small%20Group%20Video-Conference&sort=1



Monday, October 7, 2013

Joel 2:25 International, support & resources for overcoming Same-Sex Attraction

It's been a while since, I've posted here. 
I've been really busy this past year with ministry work. I started a small group at my house two years ago. Our group is called "Joel 2:25"  http://www.Joel225.com 



Ex-Gay, Gay, ExGay, Same-Sex Attraction, SSA Recovery

About a year ago we expanded and started having others join our meetings through video-conference from other countries. Now, we have 12 bi-weekly "Small Groups" and 215 guys from 55 countries participating in one form or another each month. The group is still primarily Catholic, but we have also had several protestants participating and most recently several Muslims and Jews. 

The reason I'm writing to ask for your prayers. We are in the process of completing the formal structure of the ministry. I've never done anything like that before, so it's a little daunting, but we are moving along pretty well so far. 

We are doing what we can though. We have small groups in English, Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, Italian and Polish right now. We are working on starting groups in Arabic, German and French as well as a group for Women. I also really feel led to start a group to help teens with SSA and their families. I'll post more about that idea in my next post. It will be different from our current format.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. Please keep us in your prayers. Also, if you know anyone who could benefit, please let them know about our group.

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Please pray for everyone at JONAH

Please continue to pray for everyone else at JONAH (the Jewish version of Courage) as they continue to battle for the freedom to help men and women with SSA. They are facing a frivolous lawsuit which is designed to bankrupt them. Many other SSA ministries - which are being continuously receiving subpoenas and forced to spend hundreds of thousands on legal fees to defend themselves even though they are not defendants.
This past Friday the judge refused their motion for dismissal so the Discovery phase will drag into 2014 and the legal fees will exceed $1,000,000. This includes the cost of time and travel for depositions, engaging expert witnesses, doing research, and keeping up with the barrage of both superfluous and essential requests coming from the plaintiffs.


Your financial support in any amount is deeply appreciated and can be directed to either the Freedom of Conscience Defense Fund at  www.ConscienceDefense.org, or to JONAH at www.jonahweb.org. Please feel to share this letter with anyone who would be sympathetic to our cause.

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your position for such a time as this?”
- Esther 4:14

Friday, February 8, 2013

What does "Ex-Gay" or "Change" mean to ME?

These two words seem to evoke deep emotion in nearly everyone I know. They have also been "trigger words" for me in the past (on BOTH sides). They can be used in very polarizing ways and many have chosen to do away with the words altogether. I selected the name for this blog over two years ago. I have never really like the term, but I figured the phrase "Ex-Gay" was was the only search term that was widely known. Almost everyone I know in Exodus, Courage, NARTH, etc - hates that term. I myself would also like to clarify that I am not "Ex" anything. I am just MORE myself than ever before.

I'll let the organizations speak for themselves. Everyone seems to think that they claimed to have a "Cure" simply because they offer help to people like myself. I'd highly encourage you to check out what they have to say for themselves: 

"The Five Goals of Courage" - Courage Apostolate
"What If I Don't Change?" - Dr. Joseph Nicolosi

In my case, I spent 12 years with the "Gay" label and I no longer feel that the "Gay" label is accurate. I still experience some SSA (Same-Sex Attraction), but much less than before. Even if I had not experienced that healing, I would still say that Homosexuality itself is a suppression of the healthy relational nature that all human beings are designed for. I realize many will be angry and stop reading here. A few years ago, I would have been enraged at hearing anyone say what I just wrote. 

Monday, January 21, 2013

Healing Homosexuality in 1958

I found an obscure essay referenced as a footnote in the book The Road Less Traveled. It led to a book called How People Change by Allen Wheelis which was published in 1969 and included this essay which was published first in 1958. I wasn't expecting the book to mention anything about SSA (Same-Sex Attraction) or homosexuality specifically, but I was reading it on the plane just now and found this. Wow! This explains a lot!  

"If a homosexual man should set out to become heterosexual, among all that is obscure, it is clear he should discontinue homosexual relations, however tempted he may be to continue.
He would be well advised in reaching for such a goal to anticipate that success, if it be achieved at all, will require a long time, years not months, that the effort will be painful and humiliating, that he will discover profound currents of feeling which oppose the behavior he now requires of himself, that emerging obstacles will each one seem insuperable yet each must be thought through, that further insight will be constantly required to inform and sustain his behavior, that sometimes insight will precede and illumine action, and sometimes blind dogged action must come first.
There is no short cut, no safe-conduct, no easier way. He must proceed alone, on nerve. He is not entitled to much hope - just that he has a chance. He may take some comfort in knowing that NO ONE CAN BE SURE AT THE OUTSET THAT HE WILL FAIL, and that it is his own measurable resources of heart and mind which will have most bearing on the eventual outcome.

This is a self-transcendent process of changed that originates in one's heart and expands outward, always within the purview and direction of a knowing consciousness, begins with a vision of freedom, with an 'I want to become...', with a sense of the potentiality.

Sometimes this process of change may proceed with an increasing momentum and finality to solid completion.


That person gains most from therapy, and gains it most quickly, who has the heart and will to go it alone in the event that therapy does not help; whereas he who clings to therapy as a drowning man to a ship's timber is likely to burden therapy with a weight it can't support and so take himself and therapy down together." 
- Allen Wheelis, 1958

Note: There are a few areas where I would Correct his statement. The journey is anything but "humiliating." Release of SHAME has been the central focus of every successful journey out of homosexuality that I have witnessed. Also, the statement "he is not entitled to success" is somewhat inaccurate. I guess it depends on the definition of "success." For me, it isn't necessarily the elimination of all Same-Sex Attraction, but the replacement of it with my healthy relationships and a much stronger sense of my own God-given masculinity and secure sense of manhood.  

Pax Christi,

Jeremy