Don's Journey into Manhood

Today I'd like to share my friend Don's story. His journey was a little different from mine in that he was married with a family before he began this journey. He is an awesome man of God and now leads one our Small Groups in Joel 2:25 (http://www.Joel225.com )

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In late 2006 I had grown utterly disillusioned with my life.  I had been fighting my same sex attraction through adolescence and my college years and for 25 years of marriage.  I was losing the fight.  I had a deep faith but I had concluded that the Love of God was somehow not meant for me.  I had prayed unceasingly for 40 years for release from this burden without any impact.  The worst part was the loneliness.  I lacked the kind of male friendships that I longed for and found straight men to be so unemotional and disconnected that they seemed incapable of real intimacy.  My wife was emotionally distant and hurt from my general lack of pursuit of her heart and I was facing the prospect of living the rest of my life in emotional isolation.  I could not stand it anymore. 

Q&A on Alan's Statement about Reparative Therapy

I received this question from an Anonymous comment to my last post: "What Does Ex-Gay or Change Mean to Me":  

"What do you think about Alan Chambers saying Reparative Therapy doesn't work, that 99.9% of 'ex-gays' still have SSA, and that gays can go to heaven just by believing in Jesus?"

I appreciate your questions. I have corresponded with Alan via email about his statements a few times.  For brevity’s sake, I will respond to the first question here and the second question in a second post (See Part 2: Question on Salvation). First I’d like to start out with the areas where I agree with Alan. My faith in Christ and my moral convictions are independent of whether or not my SSA (Same-Sex Attraction) is ever “cured.”

What does "Ex-Gay" or "Change" mean to ME?

These two words seem to evoke deep emotion in nearly everyone I know. They have also been "trigger words" for me in the past (on BOTH sides). They can be used in very polarizing ways and many have chosen to do away with the words altogether. I selected the name for this blog over two years ago. I have never really like the term, but I figured the phrase "Ex-Gay" was was the only search term that was widely known. Almost everyone I know in Exodus, Courage, NARTH, etc - hates that term. I myself would also like to clarify that I am not "Ex" anything. I am just MORE myself than ever before.

I'll let the organizations speak for themselves. Everyone seems to think that they claimed to have a "Cure" simply because they offer help to people like myself. I'd highly encourage you to check out what they have to say for themselves: 

"The Five Goals of Courage" - Courage Apostolate

"What We Mean By Change" -  by PCC

"What If I Don't Change?" - Dr. Joseph Nicolosi

"Understanding SSA (Same-Sex Attraction) as a Signal" - Dr. Joseph Nicolosi

In my case, I spent 12 years with the "Gay" label and I no longer feel that the "Gay" label is accurate. I still experience some SSA (Same-Sex Attraction), but much less than before. Even if I had not experienced that healing, I would still say that Homosexuality itself is a suppression of the healthy relational nature that all human beings are designed for. I realize many will be angry and stop reading here. A few years ago, I would have been enraged at hearing anyone say what I just wrote.