-------------------------------------
In late 2006 I had grown utterly disillusioned with my life. I had been fighting my same sex attraction through adolescence and my college years and for 25 years of marriage. I was losing the fight. I had a deep faith but I had concluded that the Love of God was somehow not meant for me. I had prayed unceasingly for 40 years for release from this burden without any impact. The worst part was the loneliness. I lacked the kind of male friendships that I longed for and found straight men to be so unemotional and disconnected that they seemed incapable of real intimacy. My wife was emotionally distant and hurt from my general lack of pursuit of her heart and I was facing the prospect of living the rest of my life in emotional isolation. I could not stand it anymore.
