Setting Love in Order

One book that has helped me tremendously is Setting Love in Order by Fr. Mario Bergner. 

This is his personal journey out the "gay" identity and life and through healing of his Same-Sex Attraction. This is a powerful book and quick read. It details many of the common underlying emotional wounds that drive Same-Sex Attraction, but also provides a blueprint for understand the path of healing. I highly recommend it. You can order the book here: http://www.redeemedlives.org/books
(It is available in printed and electronic formats in English, Chinese, Czech, Dutch, Finnish, French, German, Italian, Latvian, Portuguese, Russian, and Swedish. 


Anyway, I am excited to announce that Fr. Mario Bergner will be our special guest speaker for our Joel 2:25 full-group video-conference this coming Sunday January 24th at 3:00 PM Texas time (21:00 GMT).
https://rightsignature.com/forms/Joel-2-25-Partici-55e0b2/token/410568c383a

If you would like to join us, please email me at: Jeremy@Joel225.org  

Note: You will need to sign our Participant Agreement form which is available here: 

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

Jeremy@Joel225.org
http://www.Joel225.org

P.S.: We have a full-group meeting with a guest speaker on the fourth Sunday of each month. Here are our upcoming guests: http://www.Joel225.org/j225_003.htm

What Does Change Mean for Me?

In this video, my friends and I respond to this question:

http://peoplecanchange.com/videos/change.mp4

Back from Beyond

Please keep in your prayers all of the men who have just completed "Journey Beyond," the week-long super-intense program that builds upon "Journey into Manhood" and other growth work. 

It typically take about 6 months to a year for anyone to fully process that week. I just returned from staffing it for the third year in a row. It was really powerful an awesome. Here is something I wrote after I returned from my own JB week back in 2011:  myssajourney.blogspot.com/2011/08/back-from-beyond-journey-beyond.html?m=1.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and I'd highly recommend it.  

Pax Christi,

Jeremy

P.S. The main pre-requisite is the Journey into Manhood weekend. There are a few spots left for the three upcoming weekends in California, Indiana, and Texas.http://www.PeopleCanChange.com/jim

The Third Way - TONIGHT

Tonight, I'll be hosting a screening with others from Joel 2:25 at a church in the Fort Worth Diocese.

http://vimeo.com/93079367

This short film may provide more context than the news articles. This is NOT exclusively about "change" "curing" anyone's attractions, although I wouldn't rule out that possibility. I personally have experienced significant healing and change, but that's not what's most important. What is most important is freedom from shame and discovering REAL love and TRUTH.

Pax Christi,
Jeremy
Jeremy@Joel225.org

Texas GOP Reparative Therapy Platform Plank

With all of the misinformation being spread by the media, I want to try to make a few points more clear regarding the platform amendment I wrote for the Texas GOP that supports the right of access for Reparative Therapy.

I personally have a LOT of experience with Reparative Therapy have benefited directly from therapy with Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr.

Also, over the last four years I have talked with over 500 others who have taken this journey as well. EVERY aspect of it is positive - even for those who may later choose a different path. I have read everything that has been published on this subject from all major associations.

I have addressed the top five questions I've received here (below):

1) This is not an "endorsement" or command for anyone. It simply protects the right of access for those (like myself and many others) who benefit from Reparative Therapy and other forms of SOCE (Sexual Orientation Change Efforts). The reason this plank is necessary is to stop the 50 state push for these laws: http://townhall.com/columnists/michaelbrown/2012/06/01/another_outrage_in_california

2) It is NOT "Ex-Gay" therapy.  It never has been about "curing" anyone and it never will be. It is about healing and wholeness as well as congruity. There are many of us who experience Same-Sex Attraction, but do NOT want to embrace the modern "Gay" label and have moral beliefs that mean Gay Relationships are NOT an option for us at all. I have answered this question in the past. Here are two that might help clarify the goals for you:
                         a) "What does 'Ex-Gay' or 'Change' mean to me?"  
                         b) "To Change or Not to Change - Is that Really the Question?"

3) Reparative Therapy is POSITIVE and AFFIRMING of the individual. The entire premise of Reparative Therapy is building self-worth, self-esteem, and self-image. It is about healing emotional wounds. The belief is that healing these wounds will make homosexual behavior less compelling. Even if you believe compulsive homosexual behavior is healthy, surely you can see how healing emotional wounds and building self-image and self-worth is always a positive thing. Here is a video playlist I put together of Dr. Joseph Nicolosi explaining Reparative Therapy.

    3 a)  "Reparative Therapy" got it's name from the premise put forth by Dr. Nicolosi that the compulsion for homosexual behavior is often a "reparative drive" - and that if we address the underlying Shame and emotional wounds, this drive will be LESS compulsive and healing can take place. It does NOT mean "repairing" a homosexual person because they are 'broken.' 

4) Reparative Therapy is NEVER "harmful" or "dangerous." - There is ZERO evidence to suggest that ANYONE has EVER been harmed by actual Reparative Therapy itself. The news media continues to repeat the lie that "Reparative Therapy has been discredited." Nothing could be further from the truth!  The only "official" statements from the APA about Reparative Therapy came from a 2009 release by their panel of "Homosexuality" which consists of only six (6) therapists. NONE of them have ever practiced Reparative Therapy nor spoken to anyone who has experienced it. Five (5) of these six (6) therapists are openly "gay" and longterm political activists. They used the general "Warning" applied to all therapeutic interventions which lists a variety of risks. None of these have ever been linked to Reparative Therapy itself.

5) Does Reparative Therapy "work"? 
It has improved my life substantially as well as thousands of others. Did it remove all traces of SSA (Same-Sex Attraction) and replace it with 100% Opposite Sex Attraction?  No- not yet. I don't know whether it will, but that was NEVER the point in the first place. It is not supposed to be a "Gay Cure."   AA does not remove the temptation to drink, but it still helps millions of people live the lives they really want to live. Does that make it a fraud?

Anyway, for more information, please see my other blog post with the info packet I sent to the delegates here: http://myssajourney.blogspot.com/2014/06/republican-party-of-texas-platform-for.html

Also, please see these websites:

NARTH: National Association of Research and Therapy for Homosexuality
Joel 2:25 International - the ministry I started
People Can Change
Restored Hope Network
Courage Apostolate
Dr. Joseph Nicolosi - Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic
Voice of the Voiceless

Republican Party of Texas - Platform for 2014 - please pray and help, if you can

I would like to share with you this resolution which I drafted and submitted for consideration to be added as a plank in the Republican Party of Texas 2014 Platform. I've drafted resolutions and lobbied the legislature for conservative causes in the past, but never for such a personal issue.  

Here is one news article explaining the situation: http://townhall.com/columnists/michaelbrown/2012/06/01/another_outrage_in_california  

As you know from my other blog posts, I lead a ministry based here in Texas, but with national outreach and we and many others have already being impacted by this new law that liberals are pushing in all 50 states.

Reparative Therapy and this type of ministry work played a significant role in saving my life and I have been blessed to help many others over the past four years. Recently though, this ministry work has been under attack across the country and in some states Republican legislators and Governors have been silent or complicit in passing these laws. 

After California and New Jersey passed these laws last year, I began reaching out to Republican State Legislators and State Senators to discuss the law. In Washington State, the bill flew through their House without any opposition from Republicans, but once we talked with the GOP state senators and they came to understand the full story, they stood up and blocked this awful bill. The same has been the case now for eleven other states. 

In each case, it took significant efforts to educate GOP legislators and rally grassroots support before their GOP lawmakers realized the importance of this issue to religious freedom. Since this bill is being introduced in all 50 states, it is a critical and unique addition to the State GOP which is not fully covered by the current language.  I presented the resolution and my explanations to the Texas Republican Assembly and the Eagle Forum and they both agreed and endorsed this resolution. I would have asked for other endorsements as well, but I wasn't sure who to contact.

Anyway, I have been told that this issue is one that many people have additional questions about so I drafted this brief packet to supplemental information explaining the reasons behind this platform amendment.

If (by chance) you are a delegate or alternate to the upcoming Republican State Convention here in Texas this weekend, please take a moment to review. This was approved unanimously by the Platform Committee and will be presented for approval by the full convention this coming Saturday. I will be there and I really hope I can count on your support for this important platform amendment. If you are in another state (or party), I would love to talk with you about how you can adapt this for your upcoming state convention and party platform. This shouldn't be only a GOP or Texas issue. Hopefully, we can ALL agree on the importance of protecting Free Speech and the Freedom of Relgion for ALL. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

2014 RPT Platform Amendment Resolution Supporting the Right to Reparative Therapy / SOCE

1)       Proposed Platform Amendment

2)       Why this platform amendment is crucial for protecting free speech and religious freedom in Texas.

3)       What is “Reparative Therapy” and “SOCE” (Sexual Orientation Change Efforts)?

4)       Original (long version) of the resolution – includes additional “whereases” intended to inform

5)       Letters from Psychologists and therapists in Texas and California.

6)       Final version endorsed by the Texas Republican Assembly and Eagle Forum (same “Therefore” fewer “whereases”)

1)       Proposed Platform Amendment

“SUPPORT THE RIGHT TO REPARATIVE THERAPY

We call upon all elected officials in the State of Texas to ensure that licensed therapists, psychologists and counselors in the state of Texas cannot be forbidden or penalized by any licensing board for practicing reparative therapy and supporting clients of any age with sexual orientation change efforts. 

We support the rights of self-motivated teens and urge the passage of laws to protect the right to self-determination by those who experience Unwanted Same-Sex Attraction and seek to live out their values of chastity and/or restoration to heterosexuality.”

2)       Why this platform amendment is crucial for protecting free speech and religious freedom in Texas.

Activists have drafted a bill to be introduced in all 50 states which will ban or severely restrict access to Reparative Therapy and all other SOCE (Sexual Orientation Change Efforts) including religious counseling.  A similar bill is currently under review in the British Parliament which goes much further. A version of the bill will be introduced in the Texas legislature during the next term.

"Born this Way" ?? hmm...

This should be self-evident, but unfortunately today's philosophy has caused so much confusion. 

"Gender identity and sexual orientation are grounded in biological reality. The body tells us who we are, and we cannot 'construct' - assemble or disassemble - a different reality in which gender and sexual identity are out of synchrony with biology. We cannot have been 'created' for same-sex relationships whose very design makes biological parenthood impossible.

My clients have found homosexual behavior to be maladaptive to their lives. Their impetus for change comes from their deep conviction that underneath it all they really are heterosexual men, and they seek a therapist who sees their inner potential.

These men have an internal conviction that homosexuality is not merely wrong but that - on yet a broader dimension - homosexuality simply isn't 'True.'"

                                  - Dr. Joseph Nicolosi

I found this (above) while re-reading the introduction to 
Shame and Attachment Loss: The Practical Work of Reparative Therapy by Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D. of the Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic.


This is one of the best, most comprehensive books on understanding Same-Sex Attraction. I highly recommend it!

Pax Christi,
Jeremy
http://www.Joel225.org

My story and the benefits of Reparative Therapy & SOCE (Sexual Orientation Change Efforts)

I put this playlist together along with my own video interview to help share the TRUTH about Reparative Therapy which is one of the tools God used to save my life. I am so grateful to Dr. Nicolosi for his help. I also want to spread the TRUTH to those who have heard lies and misinformation. 

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2D26C55B8725111F 

Those who say that Reparative Therapy is "harmful" have (in almost all cases) never tried or experienced ANY form of real Reparative Therapy. Those who did try it and who say that usually only did so for a very short while. In all cases, they are basing their accusations on politics rather than facts. Reparative Therapy uses all of the SAME modalities as any other therapy. 

The difference is that it respects the individual client's right to self-determination rather than imposing a modern pop-culture label and insisting that the individual must live an active "gay" life in order to be happy. Those of us with religious views are never going to find happiness by doing what we believe to be wrong. Only by finding truth, congruence within our faith, and self-compassion have we found real healing. THAT is the basis of Reparative Therapy.


#samesexattraction #SSA #homosexuality #exgay ex-gay lgbt gay ex-homosexual #SOCE Sexual Orientation Change Efforts#NARTH

Name Change (MyExGayJourney to MySSAJourney)

I recently changed the name and URL for my blog from: MyExGayJourney to MySSAJourney. I thought the URL (myexgayjourney.blogspot.com) would transfer to the new URL (MySSAJourney.Blogspot.com), but I guess that didn't work.

The reason for the change is NOT due to any change in my own beliefs or goals. It is just that I never intended to use the term "Ex-Gay" anyway. I don't believe any of us are created TO BE gay and this journey isn't about become "Ex" anything as much as it is about growth and healing in authenticity and assertion - releasing shame and other false identities and counter-emotions.

Anway, I hope to share more here soon. I've been preoccupied with ministry work (http://www.Joel225.com) and my regular full-time job in the corporate world, so I haven't had much time for writing. I hope to get more prolific in the future though.

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

NEW group for PARENT's of Teens with Same-Sex Attraction

I got another email yesterday from a 16 year old seeking help with Same-Sex Attraction (SSA). In addition to the two 15 year olds who emailed a while back, this is starting to weigh on me. All of teens who have emailed me so far have said that they're parents were aware of their SSA and willing to give their written permission for them to participate in a support group. I've sent them all the links/resources as I knew of, but had to explain we do not yet have a Joel 2:25 group for them. I think it's time I stopped stalling though on getting the Parent's group together. 

If there are any Christian Counselors or pastoral leaders who might be willing to volunteer to help lead these, I'd love to talk with them.  I'm also asking guys in our "Young Adults" Small Group (under 27yo) to volunteer to help join these video-conferences and share THEIR experiences and insights with the parents.

I am envisioning this as being separate groups for Fathers and Mothers of Sons and Daughters with SSA or other confusions. 

Pax Christi,
Jeremy
http://www.Joel225.com

Don's Journey into Manhood

Today I'd like to share my friend Don's story. His journey was a little different from mine in that he was married with a family before he began this journey. He is an awesome man of God and now leads one our Small Groups in Joel 2:25 (http://www.Joel225.com )

-------------------------------------

In late 2006 I had grown utterly disillusioned with my life.  I had been fighting my same sex attraction through adolescence and my college years and for 25 years of marriage.  I was losing the fight.  I had a deep faith but I had concluded that the Love of God was somehow not meant for me.  I had prayed unceasingly for 40 years for release from this burden without any impact.  The worst part was the loneliness.  I lacked the kind of male friendships that I longed for and found straight men to be so unemotional and disconnected that they seemed incapable of real intimacy.  My wife was emotionally distant and hurt from my general lack of pursuit of her heart and I was facing the prospect of living the rest of my life in emotional isolation.  I could not stand it anymore. 

This is a great video regarding "Catholic" politicians like Gov. Chris Christie

Q&A on Alan's Statement about Reparative Therapy

I received this question from an Anonymous comment to my last post: "What Does Ex-Gay or Change Mean to Me":  

"What do you think about Alan Chambers saying Reparative Therapy doesn't work, that 99.9% of 'ex-gays' still have SSA, and that gays can go to heaven just by believing in Jesus?"

I appreciate your questions. I have corresponded with Alan via email about his statements a few times.  For brevity’s sake, I will respond to the first question here and the second question in a second post (See Part 2: Question on Salvation). First I’d like to start out with the areas where I agree with Alan. My faith in Christ and my moral convictions are independent of whether or not my SSA (Same-Sex Attraction) is ever “cured.”

Healing Homosexuality in 1958

I found an obscure essay referenced as a footnote in the book The Road Less Traveled. It led to a book called How People Change by Allen Wheelis which was published in 1969 and included this essay which was published first in 1958. I wasn't expecting the book to mention anything about SSA (Same-Sex Attraction) or homosexuality specifically, but I was reading it on the plane just now and found this. Wow! This explains a lot!  

"If a homosexual man should set out to become heterosexual, among all that is obscure, it is clear he should discontinue homosexual relations, however tempted he may be to continue.

He would be well advised in reaching for such a goal to anticipate that success, if it be achieved at all, will require a long time, years not months, that the effort will be painful and humiliating, that he will discover profound currents of feeling which oppose the behavior he now requires of himself, that emerging obstacles will each one seem insuperable yet each must be thought through, that further insight will be constantly required to inform and sustain his behavior, that sometimes insight will precede and illumine action, and sometimes blind dogged action must come first.

There is no short cut, no safe-conduct, no easier way. He must proceed alone, on nerve. He is not entitled to much hope - just that he has a chance. He may take some comfort in knowing that NO ONE CAN BE SURE AT THE OUTSET THAT HE WILL FAIL, and that it is his own measurable resources of heart and mind which will have most bearing on the eventual outcome.

This is a self-transcendent process of changed that originates in one's heart and expands outward, always within the purview and direction of a knowing consciousness, begins with a vision of freedom, with an 'I want to become...', with a sense of the potentiality.

Sometimes this process of change may proceed with an increasing momentum and finality to solid completion.

That person gains most from therapy, and gains it most quickly, who has the heart and will to go it alone in the event that therapy does not help; whereas he who clings to therapy as a drowning man to a ship's timber is likely to burden therapy with a weight it can't support and so take himself and therapy down together." 

- Allen Wheelis, 1958

Note: There are a few areas where I would Correct his statement. The journey is anything but "humiliating." Release of SHAME has been the central focus of every successful journey out of homosexuality that I have witnessed. Also, the statement "he is not entitled to success" is somewhat inaccurate. I guess it depends on the definition of "success." For me, it isn't necessarily the elimination of all Same-Sex Attraction, but the replacement of it with my healthy relationships and a much stronger sense of my own God-given masculinity and secure sense of manhood.  

Pax Christi,
Jeremy 

St. Joseph, the original Navy Seal

I was struggling with a lot of anger this past week over a blogger who relentlessly attacks everyone I know. He uses every accusation he can find (no matter how ridiculous) and spreads rumors all over the place. He viciously attacks and mocks everyone who attempts to support those of us seeking emotional healing and reduction of SSA. His beliefs and approach seem identical to Wayne Besen's blog, but this guy claims to be a "Christian Professor" and people mistakenly believe he is on our side so they forward links to his blog all over the place. 

I feel some Shame though because I erupted in anger when someone emailed me with a link to his blog. I wasn't so much angry about his latest attacks (mocking my friends Arthur and Alan at JONAH), but I was furious that people think he still on our side and then use him as a source. I dropped a lot of really important things especially tasks for ministry work (providing encouragement and affirmation to my friends in need). I instead focused my energy on arguing with him (which was NOT on my to-do list for that day). Not only was it a waste of time, it was potentially counter-productive to the ministry work to the individuals that God has placed in my path.

"Man's anger does not accomplish God's righteousness" - James 1:20

 In our local Courage chapter, a therapist here in Dallas / Fort Worth has started leading us in a program he developed called "St. Joseph's Workshop."

This past week we had our first section and part of the process/discussion focused on the manly virtues demonstrated by St. Joseph during the events we commemorate in Christmas. Obviously as a foster-father to God, he had a lot of responsibility.

The part that stood out to me was in Matthew's gospel with the Flight into Egypt (Matthew 2:1-12). The discussion question was:

"What manly virtues did St. Joseph demonstrate in the 'Flgiht into Egypt' (Matt 2) and how does that relate to my life?"

I had never thought of it in terms of myself being in St. Joseph's place, but I realized what MY impulse would be if an angel appeared to me and told me that soldiers were coming to kill all of the children.  

My instinct as man would be to grab a sword and run out to try to STOP the soldiers - knowing that I'd probably die in the process, "but at least I did SOMETHING!"

I remember how I felt when I first heard of the CT school shooting and I cannot imagine what St. Joseph went through - being told AHEAD of time that something like that would happen and then be told he could not do anything to stop it. I cannot imagine having to just "RUN."

I seem to have an inclination to try to "fix what is wrong with the World" and I can easily get distracted by big political events and /or useless arguments about big political events. There is a part of me that just wants to "FIGHT the good fight" and even be a "martyr" for cause of justice. That's the raw emotional response in how I reacted to the blogger last week.

"There are many who would eagerly be martyred in front of the astonished gaze of thousands, but will not bear the pinpricks of daily life with a cheerful spirit, but think! Which is more heroic?"  - St. Josemaría Escrivá (founder of Opus Dei)

When I got asked last month to be on the Dr. Oz show (http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/gay-straight-controversial-therapy), at first I really wanted to go and argue for the truth, but God seemed to be telling me "NO."  I am glad that others were called to fight that fight, but it was clear that for one reason or another God didn't want ME to do this particular program.

In Matthew 2:1-12, St. Joseph was given very specific instructions to take Mary and the baby Jesus and RUN.  If he had acted in any other way or tried to handle things his OWN way (like I'm so inclined to do), he would not have fulfilled the mission God called him to do.

St. Joseph's mission in life was very much like a Navy Seal. He had to sneak past enemy lines and ignore the big explosions and fighting all around him. He had to stay the course, have courage and faith - AND focus on the one specific task he was given - even while it may have seemed like the enemy was winning big glorious battles right in front of him.

Since I came back into the Church and surrendered my life to Christ, there have been many occasions where the Holy Spirit has led me to specific people and places where I've had the privilege of participating in HIS harvest and seeing soul's revived and lives transformed (ONE at a time). Sometimes the mission is just to plant seeds, but I can still seem to tell when I have accomplished the mission and when I have NOT.

I have to learn to daily surrender to God's will and trust the Holy Spirit to lead me where I need to go. It's just really hard though to have to see the enemy win his seemingly spectacular battles (politics, the media, etc.) and knowing that I CAN'T fight those battles and can't fix the World in aggregate. Sometimes it is painful to obey and accept that I can't save everyone. It is hard to trust and let go of my OWN will. However, I know that staying focused on the "little things" and obeying his voice, keeps me rooted in HIM and through HIM my small efforts will bear fruit. 

My interview in the New York Times about "Change"

I had a phone interview with New York Times a few weeks ago about Reparative Therapy and whether "change" is possible.Here is the article: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/01/us/ex-gay-men-fight-view-that-homosexuality-cant-be-changed.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Three of my old Gay friends are choosing Christ

Wow!
In the last two days, I've received calls from TWO guys that I used to know when I was in the gay lifestyle. Both called to look for help in getting OUT of it. One of them met with a Christian counselor tonight and the other one is checking out the NARTH and Courage websites right now.

I also found out last year that one other guy I had dated (briefly back in 2003) has also left the gay lifestyle through an Exodus International ministry. God is AWESOME!

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

Travesty in California

Please pray for everyone in the state of California. Yesterday, their Governor signed into law a horrible attack on religious freedom and an attack on many programs that provide REAL help to youth with this particular struggle. As of today, it is legal in California to give hormone blockers to an 11 year-old boy in order to delay the onset of puberty, but starting January 1st it will be illegal for a 17 year-old with unwanted same-sex attractions to receive professional counseling, even with parental consent.

New Survey Finds Therapy to Reduce Homosexuality Can Be Effective, Beneficial

Here (below) are the results of a survey that I participated in last week. There were about 500 of us across 19 countries. I realize everyone's personal needs and goals are a little bit different and in the past many SSA programs or ministries have failed to see that. I think that really has changed a lot though in recent years. Here is a great summary called "What We Mean by Change" http://peoplecanchange.com/change/whatwemean.php

Pax Christi,
Jeremy

August 30, 2012  New Survey Finds Counseling to Reduce Homosexuality Can Be Effective, Beneficial CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA -- In a new survey of almost 500 people who have ever sought professional counseling to lessen unwanted homosexual attractions, more than half (55%) said the counseling was effective in causing the frequency and intensity of their homosexual attractions to diminish. And seven out of 10 said they were either satisfied (25%) or very satisfied (46%) with their counseling experience.

My video in Polish

A lady in POLAND emailed me on Monday asking for information on RT and JiM. I sent her a few links, but I wasn't sure why she was asking

I found out that she translated the my YouTube video into POLISH and added subtitles along with a few other clips to make a SUPPORTIVE video for others in Poland. Here is her video: http://youtu.be/OU5zsvJGOFs  (I really don't like the title they came up with, but understand what they were trying to say.) 

My original video: http://youtu.be/w1_pBLuBEgw

Pax Christi,
Jeremy