I have since learned that when an issue is hidden from God and maybe even myself, God will not force his Love upon us to fix it. If I keep something hidden and am not giving God access to it He cannot bring healing and wholeness to that part of my life. I began to understand for the first time that ssa was, in medical terms, a presenting issue, much like angina is a presenting issue for much more serious heart disease. The pain of angina may be what is demanding my attention but merely relieving the pain of the angina is inadequate as a strategy and malpractice as a medical approach. Angina, and by analogy ssa, was not my real problem, but neither the Church group nor the counselor they recommended seemed able to impact the deeper issues that were causing the surface problem. I had to wonder how common it was for gay men to have these issues and be unaware of them as I was unaware of them. The counselor and the church ministry were not bad, they just were not up to the task of this issue. I share that, my own journey from these approaches because I know how many men with sea have "done everything" and found the interventions they had access to woefully inadequate and concluded there was no help for them.
There is an interesting parallel to the problem of the "pray away the gay' approach. My brother's religious beliefs were of a kind that for some time attempted to treat my nephew's problem with prayer. He too thought that all problems were spiritual problems and needed to be addressed completely with prayer and religious devotion to achieve a solution. That came in part because early on it was the incompetence of doctors that contributed to my nephew's deafness. His theology was a cruel task master for his son's affliction until he saw the light and had compassion on his son and took him to the right doctors.
I was finally able to summarize the approach of Church programs by recognizing that their sin focused approach which treated ssa much like osa. The Church’s advice to men with osa after all the fluff is removed is something like this. When a young straight man avoid sex by delay delay delaying sex until you marry and then focus focus focus your sexual desires on your wife. This strategy when applied to the ssa attracted men is, delay delay delay, and delay some more until you finally die. It is no wonder most young men today when faced with this advice conclude that the Church must have it wrong, that such a demand from God is unreasonable and so enter the gay lifestyle assuming that either the Church has it wrong or a God making such a demand is not worthy of devotion.