I'll let the organizations speak for themselves. Everyone seems to think that they claimed to have a "Cure" simply because they offer help to people like myself. I'd highly encourage you to check out what they have to say for themselves:
"The Five Goals of Courage" - Courage Apostolate
"What We Mean By Change" - by PCC
"What If I Don't Change?" - Dr. Joseph Nicolosi
"Understanding SSA (Same-Sex Attraction) as a Signal" - Dr. Joseph Nicolosi
In my case, I spent 12 years with the "Gay" label and I no longer feel that the "Gay" label is accurate. I still experience some SSA (Same-Sex Attraction), but much less than before. Even if I had not experienced that healing, I would still say that Homosexuality itself is a suppression of the healthy relational nature that all human beings are designed for. I realize many will be angry and stop reading here. A few years ago, I would have been enraged at hearing anyone say what I just wrote.
I received a few emails and comments this week about Matt Moore, who happens to be a Facebook friend of mine. We have chatted a few times and I continue to admire him for his courage and faith. He chose to stop living an active gay life about two years ago and has spoken of this choice in his blog: http://moorematt.com/.
He has never claimed to be "Ex-Gay" or to be "Heterosexual." I'm not even sure if he ever sought out "Reparative Therapy." While I don't condone his action last weekend (and neither does he), I have a hard time understanding the media attention and scrutiny. I have known many Alcoholics who have become sober, but then fell off the wagon momentarily (especially within their first two years of sobriety). MSNBC did not run News stories about them with headlines claiming AA doesn't work and binge drinking is the ONLY acceptable lifestyle for someone who struggles with Alcoholism.
While I personally have benefited tremendously from Reparative Therapy, I try to avoid getting into arguments about the "root causes" of SSA (Same-Sex Attraction). To me they are largely irrelevant. There may be some genetic factors that can contribute to the development of SSA (Same-Sex Attraction), but that doesn't mean I was "Born To Be Gay" or that Homosexuality is a complete "orientation" of it's own. There is far more evidence of genetic links to alcoholism, but no one is saying that people are "born to be Alcoholics" and should never be allowed to leave the bar. Nor has anyone attempted to ban AA meetings.
I realize many will disagree with my premise that Homosexuality is not a complete "orientation" on it's own. Some who read this may feel that they were "Born to be Gay." While we may disagree on that subject, I do want to respect you and your freedom to make your own life choices. My blog is not intended to be an attack on anyone. I always want to avoid the political implications. I know that no one has "Chosen" to be "gay." I also know that it's generally not possible to simply "Pray Away the Gay." I'm not even sure if anyone ever actually claimed to have done that.
I do know that choosing to surrender my will and my sexuality to God three years ago was the best decision of my life. I also KNOW that Reparative Therapy, the Courage Apostolate, and Journey into Manhood have helped me to experience massive healing of emotional wounds as well as significant Spiritual Growth. These have led to a significant decrease in my SSA (Same-Sex Attraction) over the last three years. I am 34 years old now and EVERY aspect of my life is better than ever before.
It has been over two years since my last sexual encounter, but I still experience some SSA. I can't say that I am "Cured" and I can't fully guarantee that I won't ever have a fall similar to Matt's. I know that daily mass and staying closely connected to my healthy male friends tends to keep those temptations away.
Even though I have generally avoided pornography for the last three years and have a filter on my computer, there are still occasions when the temptations come back. It's much less frequent than before. It happens about once a month now. I realize that I'm not a perfect role model. Many of my friends have much longer periods of sexual sobriety. I see God continuing to work on sanctifying me and bringing me closer to Him. I am grateful that He has never given up on me.
"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
I totally get this because I deal with Bipolar Disorder and have found healing in understanding that virtue comes (eventually, through suffering) when we develop good habits that are ordered toward God's will instead of what our brains are telling us to do, and instead of what Satan is telling us we should do. God is the one true reality, and the more we come to know WHO He is, the more we love Him, and the more we know our true selves. I know that some people don't like it when I compare SSA to my mental disorder, but when I read this above, I know exactly what you are talking about and I have never had SSA. We ALL have an identity problem, on some level, if we are not yet the saints that God has created us to be. When we become saints, then we will have our true identity. Identity is everyone's issue, not just people with SSA.
ReplyDeleteI thank God for you. Keep writing. It matters so very much.
Thank you for this. I have put this link on my blog. Keep up the good work, Jeremy
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think about Alan Chambers saying reparative therapy doesn't work, that 99.9% of "ex-gays" still have SSA, and that gays can go to heaven just by believing in Jesus?
ReplyDeleteI appreciated your questions. I'd like to respond to all three and will do so in my next post.
ReplyDeletePax Christi,
Jeremy
Anonymous, Thank you for your question. I responded to both parts:
ReplyDelete1) Reparative Therapy: http://myexgayjourney.blogspot.com/2013/02/q-on-alans-statement-about-reparative.html
2) Salvation: http://myexgayjourney.blogspot.com/2013/02/question-on-salvation.html
I know I went way too long as the last one. I'd love to talk with you about either in more detail. Please feel free to email me.
God Bless,
Jeremy
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you make your spiritual journey. Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteJeremy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your true courage in sharing your story and giving a good witness to the Truth of Christ and the meaning of human sexuality. I know what it feels like to be in a virtual no-man's-land between self-righteous folks who view homosexual attraction merely as a "lifestyle choice" and those who have completely surrendered themselves to their passions and same sex attractions. Like you, I have long struggled with SSA, though I have never had a physical sexual encounter with another man, I have struggled with p*rn, and still struggle a lot with lust. I have thought about the analogy, which you articulate so well, about alcoholism, society's view of it, and possible genetic origins. Still, when trying to make the point to others, one feels like a voice simply crying out in the wilderness. Your witness is a good reminder to men like myself that we are not alone - there are many who struggle with SSA and seek to live chaste lives. In my case, there is another factor which complicates things and has made it difficult to reach out for help - I am a priest. Chances are, if I were five years younger, and/or if I had been a bit more honest with myself when I entered the seminary, I would never have sought ordination. I am not sure how to begin to seek healing - I am still not sure about the merits of reparative therapy or the possiblity of "change" - but I fear revealing this secret to too many folks that I might scandalize my flock. Please be assured of my prayers for you as you continue your journey! If you think of it, say a prayer for this priest of Jesus Christ. Pax.
Father, I really appreciate your comment. I can only imagine the challenges and pressure you face. I have two friends who are pursuing vocations to the priesthood and they are going to make awesome priests. I would love to talk with you more sometime. If you see this reply, please email me at: pcc75248@hotmail.com or through the Contact form at the bottom of this page. I understand what you mean about the possibility of "change." For me, I know that a lot of healing has taken place in many areas of my life and this has significantly reduced the frequency and intensity of my SSA. I know that is different from 180 degree conversion to heterosexuality. I can't say whether that is likely or possible for any individual - although I know some men who have experienced that. For me though, this healing has been worth it and has been amazing.
DeletePax Christi,
Jeremy
UPDATE! - I asked our Leadership Committee for "Joel 2:25" to specifically address this in our Mission Statements and in our Doctrinal Statements. Please check them out on our website: http://www.Joel225.com
ReplyDeleteThe Doctrinal Statements are on the FAQ's page.