Thursday, March 28, 2013

Equally Confusing

I had to apologize to a few of my close friends earlier for losing my temper and making some uncharitable comments in response to their decisions to post the HRC's logo this week on their Facebook profiles in support of redefining Marriage

I explained that my disapproval was NOT about politics. I DO respect their variety of political views and of course the rights of everyone to express those views however they choose.

My own calling and mission the last two years has included affirming and encouraging healing for wounded men and women and leading them to the Lord (regardless of orientation). I host four ongoing groups of men in my living room. One of the groups is not related to homosexuality and the other three are for guys in different stages of recovery from homosexuality. I spend an hour or two every night on the phone with guys from all over and about 5 or 6 hours every Sunday. I get really tired sometimes of having to talk about that subject. It has been WORTH it though to be able to play a small part in seeing others heal.

A few months ago I started a new small group for friends I knew who were “gay” identified and even in gay relationships but who acknowledged they were conflicted about it. I was clear about my views up front and five of them decided to attend our first meeting. Two of them told me later told me to "F__ off” but three of them have since left their gay relationships and taken significant steps toward recovery.

Every opportunity I have to interact with men who are “gay” identified, I try to lead them Toward God and AWAY from that destructive life. My hope and prayer for ALL of my “gay” friends that are in gay “relationships” is that those “relationships” would END as soon as possible and that they would begin the road to recovery. They have to make their own decisions of course and I try to be as charitable and loving as I can in every interaction. I avoid arguing with them, but I also avoid reinforcing and encouraging their destructive path. I've been blessed to be able to pay for a few of my friends to get help from therapists and to attend the Journey into Manhood weekend. It brings a lot of joy to see healing take place in their lives.

I  thought (until yesterday) that it was a common understanding among my close Christian friends that the
concept that “gay relationships are healthy” and/or somehow “equivalent to marriage” is a lie. Personally, I have seen that lie cause a lot of harm for many people. I mistakenly believed and promoted that lie myself for 12 years.
The battle I fight today is NOT a political one. I’ve long conceded defeat there. I fight for souls and lives though (mine and those of my friends). I want to encourage them to succeed NOT discourage them or encourage them make the same mistakes I made. I scrolled past dozens of “=” signs on my “gay” friends’ walls without any emotional reactions. I know from our conversations that they are conflicted and gradually beginning to see the Truth. I continue to hope and pray for them and have been able to see a few begin the journey to recovery. 

I have a hard time understanding why any of my close Christian friends chose to display the “=” sign. As I saw each one of them switch over, I found myself yelling "ET TU BRUTE?!?!" While I would do anything I could to lead my practicing“gay” friends to Christ and to recovery (or at least encourage it), it does appear that some of my Christians friends would rather see them to pursue destruction and they chose to publicly encourage that. This episode has significantly changed the relationships I have with them. I appreciate their authenticity, but it hit me hard to see it all in my face at once.

Pax Christi,

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only human on the earth who actually cares about LGBTQ souls. You have disabused me of this notion. :)

    in the Twin Hearts