I really appreciate your prayers this past week while I was at "Journey
Beyond" the advanced program for "Journey into Manhood" (JiM) grads. All
I'll say for now is that I just returned from the most AMAZING
ssa-healing experience ever! God made his presence known in a POWERFUL
way the past 6 days. It was a major healing experience for all of us.
I
cried (gallons) non-stop for four full days and then again last night when
I got home. About 1/3 of that was crying with and for others. I felt so
attuned to their wounds that I probably cried more for them than I did
when it was my turn. My whole face covered in snot - it was nasty. ;)
Another
1/3 of the crying was a "draining of the swamp" for experiences and
losses I should have grieved 15-20 years ago. I had a lot of support
from the brothers there when re-experiencing that. Another 1/3 of the
crying though was tears of absolute JOY!
I can definitely
understand now why they didn't let me go last year. I would NOT have
been prepared to handle it in a healthy way a year ago. I felt like I and the others were well supported
though when we had to face our issues.
During one particular
process I was able to see and experience God walking with me through all
of the dark moments of my past -the worst of the wounds and the worst
of my sins. The times in my life where I felt I was the farthest from
God. It seems like he shined a brilliant light into those dark places (I
could see even the dark rooms I had been in back then being lit up with
a blinding light. Nothing was secret, but everything was being
restored. I really experienced first hand the way He has been able to
use those bad experiences for good and for fulfilling the work that He
has for me to do in affirming others and leading others to Him and
walking with them in their healing.
It was a truly AMAZING
experience that was far beyond my wildest expectations. I'm still in the
"altered" mental state right now so I guess I'll have to expect some
extreme ups and downs over the next few weeks. Some say it takes a fully
year to process this experience. I went through Journey into Manhood two years ago now in 2009. At the time, I thought THAT was the
most intense SSA healing experience ever. That weekend two years ago permanently reduced my SSA and I'm still reaping
the benefits and growth from that experience. This last week was a lot
more challenging and intense but it built on the foundation set by the
experiences of the "JiM" weekend.
Anyway,
I'm really glad my friends (from Courage, Exodus, and JiM) that went
last year encouraged me to apply. This particular
weekend is only offered once a year. Attending "Journey into Manhood" (JiM) is the minimal prerequisite to
apply, but at least one other "experiential weekends" in between
from other organizations (like the Courage Sports Camp, Marked Men for Christ, EdgeVenture, or Men at the Cross) is usually also required. This week takes the best of ALL of them and builds
I'll try to share more
sometime soon. Right now I just to let myself recover from the emotional
surgery. I need to journal a lot more and keep processing and
integrating all of this over the next few months.
God Bless,
Jeremy
In 2010, I returned to Christ and his church after having lived an active gay lifestyle for over 12 years (starting in High School). Since then I have experienced major healing and significant reduction in same-sex-attraction through Prayer, Daily Mass, Reparative Therapy, and emotional healing. Every aspect of my life is better and improving every day. I am also glad to be part of a great new ministry called Joel 2:25 http://www.Joel225.org
Monday, August 22, 2011
Back from the BEYOND (Journey Beyond)
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Praise the Lord! You may find that at times Satan wants you to return to a former way of life but KNOW that God is bigger than anything Satan can throw at you. Hang in there. You are in my prayers!
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