Please pray for everyone in the state of New Jersey. Yesterday, their Governor Chris Christie signed into law a horrible
attack on religious freedom and an attack on many programs that provide REAL help to youth with this particular struggle. As of today, it is illegal in New Jersey for a 17 year-old with unwanted same-sex
attractions to
receive professional counseling, even with parental consent. I cannot grasp why Governor Chris Christie still claims to be a "Republican" a "Catholic" and an "American."
His actions are direct assault on all three.
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/chris-christie-signs-ban-on-reparative-therapy-liberty-counsel-promises-to
In 2010, I returned to Christ and his church after having lived an active gay lifestyle for over 12 years (starting in High School). Since then I have experienced major healing and significant reduction in same-sex-attraction through Prayer, Daily Mass, Reparative Therapy, and emotional healing. Every aspect of my life is better and improving every day. I am also glad to be part of a great new ministry called Joel 2:25 http://www.Joel225.org
Showing posts with label ex-gay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ex-gay. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Prayers for New Jersey
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Back from "Beyond"
I
just got back from staffing "Journey Beyond" the advanced program that
builds on "Journey into Manhood" (JiM). It was REALLY AWESOME!!!!!!!!
This is my second time staffing JB - it's only offered once a year, but
I got to take on a bigger role and see a lot of amazing transformations
take place. We had a priest on our staff and we were able to have daily
mass for the second year in a row. That was really powerful. I'd highly
recommend "Journey Beyond" for anyone. I have had a few non-SSA friends
go as well and they say it changed their lives as well.
Anyway, one of the per-requisites to go to "Journey Beyond" is the
"Journey into Manhood" (JiM) weekend - since JB builds a lot on that
experience. There are three weekends coming up:
- September 27-29, 2013: Indiana
- October 1-3, 2013: Israel
- October 18-20, 2013: Texas
"Journey into Manhood" (JiM) changed my life back in 2009 and opened up
a whole new world for me in terms of relating to other men and
overcoming the limiting effects of SSA. "Journey Beyond" took that to
the next level in 2011 and I've continued to see God working miracles in
my life that began there.
Here is the link for more info: http:// www.PeopleCanChange.com/jim
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
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Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Please pray for everyone at JONAH
Please
continue to pray for everyone else at JONAH
(the Jewish version of Courage) as they continue to battle for the
freedom to help men and women with SSA. They are facing a frivolous
lawsuit which is designed to bankrupt them. Many other SSA
ministries - which are being continuously receiving subpoenas and forced
to spend hundreds of thousands on legal fees to defend themselves even
though they are not defendants.
This
past Friday the judge refused their motion for dismissal so the
Discovery phase will drag into 2014 and the legal fees will exceed
$1,000,000. This includes the cost of time and travel for depositions,
engaging
expert witnesses, doing research, and keeping up with the barrage of
both superfluous and essential requests coming from the plaintiffs.
Your
financial support in any amount is deeply appreciated and can be
directed to either the Freedom of Conscience Defense Fund at www.ConscienceDefense.org, or to JONAH at www.jonahweb.org. Please feel to share this letter with anyone who would be sympathetic to our cause.
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
Jeremy
"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your position for such a time as this?” - Esther 4:14
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Monday, June 24, 2013
Restored Hope Network lives up to its name
I got to go to dinner with their Board of Directors afterward and was really inspired by their enthusiasm for the ministry work ahead. It changed my original perception of them which had been based on a few statements that originally seemed to me to be harshly worded. I got a much more well-rounded understanding of them and found it really refreshing.
It was also really exciting to hear that they are partnering with Christopher West (http://www.christopherwest. com/)
who will be helping them implement Pope John Paul II's "Theology of the
Body" as well as Catholic therapist Dr. Joseph Nicolosi (http://www.josephnicolosi. com/) who pioneered many advances in Reparative Therapy.
This past week had been really rough. I wasn't surprised by Alan Chamber's statements and "apologies" but the finality of the Exodus decision hit me hard. That was followed by several emails from a former friend who is a gay activist and wanted to offer me "support."
I was crying out to God and feeling ALONE for the first time in a long time. I know that is silly. I know hundreds of guys on this same journey who have found healing and transformation through Jesus Christ and many who have benefited from Reparative Therapy, but last week I really felt isolated and cornered by the World. Anyway, this past weekend was a very refreshing time of prayer and worship. I would say this small organization has lived up to their name: they helped Restore MY Hope. ;)
Pax Christi,
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Thursday, May 16, 2013
Trust, Open, Surrender?
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
Even the hairs of your head are all numbered. - Luke 12:7 and Matthew 10:30I know that we have all read opinions and political statements on Homosexuality and for almost every other issue of morality as well. For an individual Christian who experiences Same-Sex Attraction, the flood of arguments and opinions are daunting.
I was raised Baptist, but started going to a "Gay Church" when I was in High School and off and on in my 20's. I wanted to believe what they taught about homosexuality, but knew that there were many who would disagree.
I worried that if the traditional christian teaching was correct, than I had a challenge ahead of me. I had not yet been able to simply "Pray away the Gay" and I wasn't so sure that anyone else had either.
I started to realized though that IF the "gay church" was correct, than that only meant that God didn't have a plan for my life at all. They provided arguments that the scriptural references regarding homosexuality were not concrete or relevant to modern understanding, but there was no evidence that this was some new kind of Vocation or that my life would have any positive meaning or purpose due to these new loopholes. (I'll write a separate post about those arguments and discuss each "side" another time)
For a while, I thought I could be truly "objective" and analyze each side's arguments from a purely academic perspective. I realized quickly though that it would take decades of rigorous study in Psychology, Theology, Hebrew, and Greek before I would even be able to make an educated guess about which "side" was right. (I'll wait to comment on Sola Scriptura another time)
There were times I aligned myself with each "side" and was welcomed warmly and joyfully. I have no doubt that everyone who is passionate about this issue (even those I disagree with) have positive intentions. I have also faced disappointment with individuals and organizations on both "sides." No human being who has a perfect answer to make everything easy and simple. There are three very important questions though that we all choose to answer not just with Same-Sex Attraction, but with everything else in our lives:
Conscious or not, we choose to answer these every single day. For most of my life, I answered "NO!" Nowadays, I choose to answer "Yes" more frequently, but I still have a ways to go. These are very tough questions. If you think these are easy, then read them again.
- Do I TRUST that God has a detailed plan and purpose for my life?
- Am I OPEN to hearing what that is, even if it's not what I currently want it be?
- Am I willing to SURRENDER my own will, identity, and plans to accept His will for me?
If however, you might be willing to answer "Yes" to all three (even for just one day), please pray with me right now:
Jesus,
I surrender to you today with all my heart and soul. Please come into my heart in a deeper way. I say, “Yes” to you today. I open all the secret places of my heart to you and say, “Come on in.” Jesus, you are the Lord of my whole life. I believe in you and receive you as my Lord and Savior. I hold nothing back.
Holy Spirit, bring me to a deeper conversion to the person of Jesus Christ. I surrender all to you: my will, my plans for the future, my relationships, my work, successes and failures. I release it and let it go because I trust that YOU have plans for me - plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.
I surrender my understanding of how things ‘ought’ to be, my choices and my will. I surrender to you the promises I have kept and the promises I have failed to keep. I surrender my weaknesses and strengths to you. I surrender my emotions, my fears, my insecurities, my sexuality. I especially surrender _________ (Here mention other areas of surrender as the Holy Spirit reveals them to you.) Lord, I surrender my whole life to you, the past, the present, and the future. In sickness and in health, in life and in death, I belong to you.
AmenAs you know from the rest of my blog, I prayed this prayer after having lived in gay relationships for several years. At the time, I thought that all I wanted was for God to restore my relationship with Tim, my live-in partner who had left. It was very difficult for me to let go and trust God with the outcome of All three questions. I was most afraid that it might lead me... well... to exactly the path I am on today. The path hasn't been easy, but it has brought real happiness and fulfillment to my life. I have been happier the last three years than ever before in my life and it's gets even better every day.
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
http://www.Joel225.org
Jeremy@Joel225.org
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Monday, February 11, 2013
Q&A on Alan's Statement about Reparative Therapy
I received this question from an Anonymous comment to my last post: "What Does Ex-Gay or Change Mean to Me":
"What do you think about Alan Chambers saying Reparative Therapy doesn't work, that 99.9% of 'ex-gays' still have SSA, and that gays can go to heaven just by believing in Jesus?"
I appreciate your questions. I have corresponded with Alan
via email about his statements a few times. For brevity’s sake, I will respond to the
first question here and the second question in a second post (See Part 2: Question on Salvation). First I’d like to start out with the areas where I agree with Alan. My faith in Christ
and my moral convictions are independent of whether or not my SSA (Same-Sex
Attraction) is ever “cured.”
Friday, February 8, 2013
What does "Ex-Gay" or "Change" mean to ME?
These two words seem to evoke deep emotion in nearly everyone I know. They have also been "trigger words" for me in the past (on BOTH sides). They can be used in very polarizing ways and many have chosen to do away with the words altogether. I selected the name for this blog over two years ago. I have never really like the term, but I figured the phrase "Ex-Gay" was was the only search term that was widely known. Almost everyone I know in Exodus, Courage, NARTH, etc - hates that term. I myself would also like to clarify that I am not "Ex" anything. I am just MORE myself than ever before.
I'll let the organizations speak for themselves. Everyone seems to think that they claimed to have a "Cure" simply because they offer help to people like myself. I'd highly encourage you to check out what they have to say for themselves:
In my case, I spent 12 years with the "Gay" label and I no longer feel that the "Gay" label is accurate. I still experience some SSA (Same-Sex Attraction), but much less than before. Even if I had not experienced that healing, I would still say that Homosexuality itself is a suppression of the healthy relational nature that all human beings are designed for. I realize many will be angry and stop reading here. A few years ago, I would have been enraged at hearing anyone say what I just wrote.
I'll let the organizations speak for themselves. Everyone seems to think that they claimed to have a "Cure" simply because they offer help to people like myself. I'd highly encourage you to check out what they have to say for themselves:
"The Five Goals of Courage" - Courage Apostolate
"What We Mean By Change" - by PCC
"What If I Don't Change?" - Dr. Joseph Nicolosi
"Understanding SSA (Same-Sex Attraction) as a Signal" - Dr. Joseph Nicolosi
In my case, I spent 12 years with the "Gay" label and I no longer feel that the "Gay" label is accurate. I still experience some SSA (Same-Sex Attraction), but much less than before. Even if I had not experienced that healing, I would still say that Homosexuality itself is a suppression of the healthy relational nature that all human beings are designed for. I realize many will be angry and stop reading here. A few years ago, I would have been enraged at hearing anyone say what I just wrote.
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Saturday, January 19, 2013
Prayer Request: Sharing my Testimony
"They have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony" - Revelation 12:11
I have a quick prayer request. I will be recording a short video about the healing that has occurred in my life over the last three years since I left the gay lifestyle. The video will be part of the Voices of Change website which is run by my friends at P.A.T.H. (Positive Alternatives to Homosexuality).
For me, this is about reaching Souls and proclaiming the Truth. It goes way beyond current politics (the principalities of this present darkness). I've been fasting and praying that I can speak to hearts with Love and grace. I just finished praying a Rosary and will start recording in a few minutes.
I have only recorded one other webcam video: http://youtu.be/w1_pBLuBEgw This one was part of a TV interview (via Skype) with a TV station on the East Coast. I had to get up at 5:00am and clean my room before they called me on Skype at 6:00am. (If I'd overslept, that'd been really embarrassing - LOL) ;)
Anyway, this time I can prepare more and tailor my own message. I wrote out some of my own story in these two posts: "Surrendering to Christ at Disney's Gay Pride" and "Reply to my old gay bible study group." I don't want it to be just MY message though. This is God's story. I want to be open to let the Holy Spirit say what he wants to say.
Btw, my friend Blake has made several really awesome videos. If you haven't already watched his, check them out here: http://myexgayjourney.blogspot.com/2013/01/real-love-vs-gay-feelings.html
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
P.S.: One other prayer request. I got asked to speak to over 100 High School students in Confirmation at a parish on February 17th. I've never given a talk in public about this issue and certainly not to High School students. I can use some prayers about what to say and how to convey the Truth with Faith, Hope, and Love.
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Friday, January 18, 2013
"Let the Lower Lights be Burning"
"my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge." - Hosea 4:6
In 1871, a ship was approaching the harbor of Cleveland. The captain, noticing only one light as they drew near — that from the lighthouse —asked the pilot if he was quite sure that it was Cleveland harbor, as other lights should have been burning to illuminate the rocks along the harbor mouth. The pilot replied that he was quite sure it was Cleveland, whereupon the captain inquired:
'Where are the lower lights to mark the shore?'
'Gone out, sir.'
'Can you make the harbor?'
'We must, or we will perish, sir!'
And with a strong hand and a brave heart, the old pilot turned the wheel. But alas, in the darkness he missed the channel, and with a crash upon the rocks the boat was shivered, and many lives were lost in a watery grave.
In 1871, a ship was approaching the harbor of Cleveland. The captain, noticing only one light as they drew near — that from the lighthouse —asked the pilot if he was quite sure that it was Cleveland harbor, as other lights should have been burning to illuminate the rocks along the harbor mouth. The pilot replied that he was quite sure it was Cleveland, whereupon the captain inquired:
'Where are the lower lights to mark the shore?'
'Gone out, sir.'
'Can you make the harbor?'
'We must, or we will perish, sir!'
And with a strong hand and a brave heart, the old pilot turned the wheel. But alas, in the darkness he missed the channel, and with a crash upon the rocks the boat was shivered, and many lives were lost in a watery grave.
As D.L. Moody related the news of this maritime disaster to his congregation, he made this appeal:
"The Master will take care of the great
light-house: let us keep the lower lights burning!"
Among Moody’s hearers that evening was Mr. Philip P.
Bliss, the well-known hymn writer, and the striking story at once
suggested to him one of his most popular hymns: "Let the Lower Lights Be Burning."This song is really powerful for me because so many of my friends and I wrecked our lives on the rocks (just like that ship) in part because the "Lower Lights" that should have been burning were forcefully extinguished in the name of "Tolerance."
As I started to describe in my (1/8/2013) post "St. Joseph, the Navy Seal," the ministry and evangelism efforts that I've felt God has led me to over the past year has been all about frantically lighting "the lower lights."
"You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father." - Matthew 5:14-16
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Real LOVE
In this video, my friend Blake shares some powerful insights as he explains why he chose Christ and decided to leave behind gay relationships.
Check out his other videos which are also really powerful:
Check out his other videos which are also really powerful:
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
P.S.: I shared some of my own similar experiences in my post titled: "Response to my old 'gay bible study' group" - September 2010
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Tuesday, January 8, 2013
St. Joseph, the original Navy Seal
I was struggling with a lot of anger this past week over a blogger who relentlessly
attacks everyone I know. He uses every accusation he can find (no matter
how ridiculous) and spreads rumors all over the place. He viciously attacks and mocks everyone who attempts to support those of us seeking emotional healing and reduction of SSA. His beliefs and approach seem identical to Wayne Besen's blog, but this guy claims to be a "Christian Professor" and people mistakenly believe he is on our side so they forward links to his blog all over the place.
I feel some Shame though because I erupted in anger when someone emailed me with a link to his blog. I wasn't so much angry about his latest attacks (mocking my friends Arthur and Alan at JONAH), but I was furious that people think he still on our side and then use him as a source. I dropped a lot of really important things especially tasks for ministry work (providing encouragement and affirmation to my friends in need). I instead focused my energy on arguing with him (which was NOT on my to-do list for that day). Not only was it a waste of time, it was potentially counter-productive to the ministry work to the individuals that God has placed in my path.
This past week we had our first section and part of the process/discussion focused on the manly virtues demonstrated by St. Joseph during the events we commemorate in Christmas. Obviously as a foster-father to God, he had a lot of responsibility.
The part that stood out to me was in Matthew's gospel with the Flight into Egypt (Matthew 2:1-12). The discussion question was:
My instinct as man would be to grab a sword and run out to try to STOP the soldiers - knowing that I'd probably die in the process, "but at least I did SOMETHING!"
I remember how I felt when I first heard of the CT school shooting and I cannot imagine what St. Joseph went through - being told AHEAD of time that something like that would happen and then be told he could not do anything to stop it. I cannot imagine having to just "RUN."
I seem to have an inclination to try to "fix what is wrong with the World" and I can easily get distracted by big political events and /or useless arguments about big political events. There is a part of me that just wants to "FIGHT the good fight" and even be a "martyr" for cause of justice. That's the raw emotional response in how I reacted to the blogger last week.
In Matthew 2:1-12, St. Joseph was given very specific instructions to take Mary and the baby Jesus and RUN. If he had acted in any other way or tried to handle things his OWN way (like I'm so inclined to do), he would not have fulfilled the mission God called him to do.
St. Joseph's mission in life was very much like a Navy Seal. He had to sneak past enemy lines and ignore the big explosions and fighting all around him. He had to stay the course, have courage and faith - AND focus on the one specific task he was given - even while it may have seemed like the enemy was winning big glorious battles right in front of him.
Since I came back into the Church and surrendered my life to Christ, there have been many occasions where the Holy Spirit has led me to specific people and places where I've had the privilege of participating in HIS harvest and seeing soul's revived and lives transformed (ONE at a time). Sometimes the mission is just to plant seeds, but I can still seem to tell when I have accomplished the mission and when I have NOT.
I have to learn to daily surrender to God's will and trust the Holy Spirit to lead me where I need to go. It's just really hard though to have to see the enemy win his seemingly spectacular battles (politics, the media, etc.) and knowing that I CAN'T fight those battles and can't fix the World in aggregate. Sometimes it is painful to obey and accept that I can't save everyone. It is hard to trust and let go of my OWN will. However, I know that staying focused on the "little things" and obeying his voice, keeps me rooted in HIM and through HIM my small efforts will bear fruit.
I feel some Shame though because I erupted in anger when someone emailed me with a link to his blog. I wasn't so much angry about his latest attacks (mocking my friends Arthur and Alan at JONAH), but I was furious that people think he still on our side and then use him as a source. I dropped a lot of really important things especially tasks for ministry work (providing encouragement and affirmation to my friends in need). I instead focused my energy on arguing with him (which was NOT on my to-do list for that day). Not only was it a waste of time, it was potentially counter-productive to the ministry work to the individuals that God has placed in my path.
"Man's anger does not accomplish God's righteousness" - James 1:20In our local Courage chapter, a therapist here in Dallas / Fort Worth has started leading us in a program he developed called "St. Joseph's Workshop."
This past week we had our first section and part of the process/discussion focused on the manly virtues demonstrated by St. Joseph during the events we commemorate in Christmas. Obviously as a foster-father to God, he had a lot of responsibility.
The part that stood out to me was in Matthew's gospel with the Flight into Egypt (Matthew 2:1-12). The discussion question was:
"What manly virtues did St. Joseph demonstrate in the 'Flgiht into Egypt' (Matt 2) and how does that relate to my life?"I had never thought of it in terms of myself being in St. Joseph's place, but I realized what MY impulse would be if an angel appeared to me and told me that soldiers were coming to kill all of the children.
My instinct as man would be to grab a sword and run out to try to STOP the soldiers - knowing that I'd probably die in the process, "but at least I did SOMETHING!"
I remember how I felt when I first heard of the CT school shooting and I cannot imagine what St. Joseph went through - being told AHEAD of time that something like that would happen and then be told he could not do anything to stop it. I cannot imagine having to just "RUN."
I seem to have an inclination to try to "fix what is wrong with the World" and I can easily get distracted by big political events and /or useless arguments about big political events. There is a part of me that just wants to "FIGHT the good fight" and even be a "martyr" for cause of justice. That's the raw emotional response in how I reacted to the blogger last week.
When I got asked last month to be on the Dr. Oz show (http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/gay-straight-controversial-therapy), at first I really wanted to go and argue for the truth, but God seemed to be telling me "NO." I am glad that others were called to fight that fight, but it was clear that for one reason or another God didn't want ME to do this particular program."There are many who would eagerly be martyred in front of the astonished gaze of thousands, but will not bear the pinpricks of daily life with a cheerful spirit, but think! Which is more heroic?" - St. JosemarÃa Escrivá (founder of Opus Dei)
In Matthew 2:1-12, St. Joseph was given very specific instructions to take Mary and the baby Jesus and RUN. If he had acted in any other way or tried to handle things his OWN way (like I'm so inclined to do), he would not have fulfilled the mission God called him to do.
St. Joseph's mission in life was very much like a Navy Seal. He had to sneak past enemy lines and ignore the big explosions and fighting all around him. He had to stay the course, have courage and faith - AND focus on the one specific task he was given - even while it may have seemed like the enemy was winning big glorious battles right in front of him.
Since I came back into the Church and surrendered my life to Christ, there have been many occasions where the Holy Spirit has led me to specific people and places where I've had the privilege of participating in HIS harvest and seeing soul's revived and lives transformed (ONE at a time). Sometimes the mission is just to plant seeds, but I can still seem to tell when I have accomplished the mission and when I have NOT.
I have to learn to daily surrender to God's will and trust the Holy Spirit to lead me where I need to go. It's just really hard though to have to see the enemy win his seemingly spectacular battles (politics, the media, etc.) and knowing that I CAN'T fight those battles and can't fix the World in aggregate. Sometimes it is painful to obey and accept that I can't save everyone. It is hard to trust and let go of my OWN will. However, I know that staying focused on the "little things" and obeying his voice, keeps me rooted in HIM and through HIM my small efforts will bear fruit.
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Sunday, November 4, 2012
Text from last night: "Fallen in Love"
A few weeks ago, a guy came to our meeting who had recently
come into the church and seemed to be struggling emotionally. I talked with him
afterward about his journey and the various opportunities for support and healing.
He seemed interested, but not fully committed. Last night (around midnight), I was in bed when I woke up too see a text from him saying "I've fallen
in love with someone who loves me back for the first time."
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Wednesday, October 31, 2012
My interview in the New York Times about "Change"
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Thursday, October 11, 2012
Three of my old Gay friends are choosing Christ
Wow!
In the last two days, I've received calls from TWO guys that I used to know when I was in the gay lifestyle. Both called to look for help in getting OUT of it. One of them met with a Christian counselor tonight and the other one is checking out the NARTH and Courage websites right now.
I also found out last year that one other guy I had dated (briefly back in 2003) has also left the gay lifestyle through an Exodus International ministry. God is AWESOME!
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
In the last two days, I've received calls from TWO guys that I used to know when I was in the gay lifestyle. Both called to look for help in getting OUT of it. One of them met with a Christian counselor tonight and the other one is checking out the NARTH and Courage websites right now.
I also found out last year that one other guy I had dated (briefly back in 2003) has also left the gay lifestyle through an Exodus International ministry. God is AWESOME!
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
Monday, October 1, 2012
Travesty in California
Please pray for everyone in the state of California. Yesterday, their Governor signed into law a horrible
attack on religious freedom and an attack on many programs that provide REAL help to youth with this particular struggle. As of today, it is
legal in California to give hormone blockers to an 11
year-old boy in order to delay the onset of puberty, but starting
January 1st it will be illegal for a 17 year-old with unwanted same-sex
attractions to
receive professional counseling, even with parental consent.
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Same-Sex Attraction,
SB 1172,
Sexual Orientation Change Efforts,
SOCE,
SSA
Monday, September 10, 2012
Learning to (really) LOVE - a slow process for me
I
got an email last week from a guy who seemed at first like he just wanted to argue with
me. I ended talking with on the phone and after a few minutes I really wanted
to hang up. He was throwing out arguments about "gay love" and gay-marriage etc.
In the past, I would have struggled with wanting to believe those arguments. Now, they just make me angry. I guess a lot of that anger comes from my own emotional wounding. It's difficult to separate that though and not unleash that on someone else.
I also get frustrated because I really want to show compassion, but I also believe in Absolutes and absolute truth. It is not compassion to withhold important Truths and/or to endorse someone's destruction based on political correctness. To me, when a friend says that they are "happy" about their newest "gay relationship" it is the same as a heroin addict telling me that they are "happy" that they got their latest "fix." What am I supposed to say? "That's great! I'm happy for you?" I am saddened and worried for them.
I started asking him more pointed questions and guide the conversation toward his core emotions and wounds. He resisted at first, but more and more he started opening up and expressing his anger, then sadness, and grief. He was in a gay relationship that just ended last week (the day he decided to contact me). He was still holding out hope that the illusion of "gay love" was real and he seemed really angry at me for insisting that it does NOT exist and that homosexuality destroys love.
I didn't let go of my position or assent to his, but I resisted the urge to argue as well. I just kept asking questions about HIM and HIS feelings and encouraged him to focus on that for now ("and we can talk about religion and politics later").
Without arguing, I found a few opportunities to gently point out that what I was hearing him say was that he wanted real love. He grew up in a Christian home and even briefly visited a local ex-gay ministry.
I pointed out to him that REAL love from our mutual religious background is described in 1 Corinthians 13 as:
I couldn't restrain myself from blurting out though that these adjectives are the POLAR opposite of every gay relationship I ever saw in 12 years. Not because the individuals were bad, but the relationship themselves were based on each person's emotional disorder.
I prayed and fasted for him (and myself) for two days. I listened to his anger and ranting; while praying and restraining my own reactions. I wanted to show him REAL LOVE and avoid judgement. I have no room to judge anyone. I was in the same trap for 12 years. I just want him to see the truth and avoid making the same mistakes I made.
He seemed to get a lot better the next day. He said he has decided that he really wants his relationship to God to be more important, but said he wasn't sure if he was ready to let go of his "need" for a romantic relationship with a guy. He seemed to be really aware that his boyfriend's "love" was the polar opposite of 1 Corinthians 13.
On Sunday night two JiM brothers invited me to meet them at a restaurant near here. After describing this situation to them, I texted him and invited him to join us. I had explained to him about Journey into Manhood and the groups I lead on Sunday afternoons called M.A.N.S. meetings (Masculinity, Authenticity, Need Fulfillment, and Surrender), but I think he forgot that I had said these were JiM bros.
In the past, I would have struggled with wanting to believe those arguments. Now, they just make me angry. I guess a lot of that anger comes from my own emotional wounding. It's difficult to separate that though and not unleash that on someone else.
I also get frustrated because I really want to show compassion, but I also believe in Absolutes and absolute truth. It is not compassion to withhold important Truths and/or to endorse someone's destruction based on political correctness. To me, when a friend says that they are "happy" about their newest "gay relationship" it is the same as a heroin addict telling me that they are "happy" that they got their latest "fix." What am I supposed to say? "That's great! I'm happy for you?" I am saddened and worried for them.
I started asking him more pointed questions and guide the conversation toward his core emotions and wounds. He resisted at first, but more and more he started opening up and expressing his anger, then sadness, and grief. He was in a gay relationship that just ended last week (the day he decided to contact me). He was still holding out hope that the illusion of "gay love" was real and he seemed really angry at me for insisting that it does NOT exist and that homosexuality destroys love.
I didn't let go of my position or assent to his, but I resisted the urge to argue as well. I just kept asking questions about HIM and HIS feelings and encouraged him to focus on that for now ("and we can talk about religion and politics later").
Without arguing, I found a few opportunities to gently point out that what I was hearing him say was that he wanted real love. He grew up in a Christian home and even briefly visited a local ex-gay ministry.
I pointed out to him that REAL love from our mutual religious background is described in 1 Corinthians 13 as:
"patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, it is not proud. does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs,does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
I couldn't restrain myself from blurting out though that these adjectives are the POLAR opposite of every gay relationship I ever saw in 12 years. Not because the individuals were bad, but the relationship themselves were based on each person's emotional disorder.
I prayed and fasted for him (and myself) for two days. I listened to his anger and ranting; while praying and restraining my own reactions. I wanted to show him REAL LOVE and avoid judgement. I have no room to judge anyone. I was in the same trap for 12 years. I just want him to see the truth and avoid making the same mistakes I made.
After two days of hearing his anger
(which seemed directed at me at first, but then seemed to lessen), he went to
grief and sadness.
He texted me saying:
He texted me saying:
"I really just need to cry."
He seemed to get a lot better the next day. He said he has decided that he really wants his relationship to God to be more important, but said he wasn't sure if he was ready to let go of his "need" for a romantic relationship with a guy. He seemed to be really aware that his boyfriend's "love" was the polar opposite of 1 Corinthians 13.
On Sunday night two JiM brothers invited me to meet them at a restaurant near here. After describing this situation to them, I texted him and invited him to join us. I had explained to him about Journey into Manhood and the groups I lead on Sunday afternoons called M.A.N.S. meetings (Masculinity, Authenticity, Need Fulfillment, and Surrender), but I think he forgot that I had said these were JiM bros.
After they left, he said it was the first time he has "felt comfortable relating
to a group of straight guys.” He had no idea that they were SSA. (I thought it was funny that they jammed his Gaydar). He seemed amazed when I explained
that they friends from JiM. He seems to be really grasping the concept that
real change and growth is possible.
Please
keep my friend in your prayers. Also, please pray that I will learn to show REAL love and compassion to others without judging them, but also being authentic with objective Truth. I still have a lot of learning and growth ahead of me before I can be a good instrument for conveying God's love.
Pax
Christi,
Jeremy
Labels:
1 Corinthians 13,
Courage Apostolate,
dating,
ex-gay,
exgay,
Exodus International,
healing,
homosexuality,
Love,
ministry,
NARTH,
objective truth,
Restored Hope,
romance
Friday, August 31, 2012
New Survey Finds Therapy to Reduce Homosexuality Can Be Effective, Beneficial
Here (below) are the results of a survey that I participated in last week. There
were about 500 of us across 19 countries. I realize everyone's personal needs and
goals are a little bit different and in the past many SSA programs or
ministries have failed to see that. I think that really has changed a
lot though in recent years.
Here is a great summary called "What We Mean by Change" http://peoplecanchange.com/change/whatwemean.php
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
|
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
My video in Polish
A lady in POLAND
emailed me on Monday asking for information on RT and JiM. I sent her a
few links, but I wasn't sure why she was asking
I
found out that she translated the my YouTube video into POLISH and
added subtitles along with a few other clips to
make a SUPPORTIVE video for others in Poland. Here is her video: http://youtu.be/OU5zsvJGOFs (I really don't like the title they came up with, but understand what they were trying to say.)
My original video: http://youtu.be/w1_pBLuBEgw
Pax Christi,
Jeremy
Jeremy
Labels:
Catholic,
Christian,
Courage Apostolate,
ex-gay,
exgay,
Exodus,
gay,
gay catholic,
gay christian,
homosexuality,
ItGetsBetter,
NARTH,
Poland,
Polish,
Reparative Therapy,
Restored Hope,
Same-Sex Attraction,
SSA
Thursday, March 22, 2012
"You're just bothering people. No one wants to hear from You!"
Last September, I started writing to church pastors and christian counselors about my own experiences in coming out of the "gay lifestyle" and I included information on ministries in their area (like the Courage Apostolate or Exodus International affiliate) as well as other resources in their area (like JiM weekends, Courage Sports Camp, and Adventure in Manhood)
I started out writing them all by hand, but then started printing them so I could get them out faster. I still hand-address all of them though. Some of the called me to tell me they didn't know of anyone in their church who struggled with homosexuality, but that they would keep the information handy for the future. (I told them they should just start asking people. j/k ;)
So far, I've sent about 620 letters and I still feel like I should keep writing, but I have a lot of doubts and fears about how these are being received and IF I'm even doing any good or just wasting a lot of money and time. I have a lot of doubts about whether this was the right thing to do or if I was just freaking people out by writing them about THIS issue and even telling them my testimony (3-sentence high-level summary). I didn't specifically ask anyone to respond to me so it's ok that I haven't heard from most of them, but I have a hard time not telling myself stories about what they must be thinking.
I got a few negative responses last week and another one today. One pastor in Rhode Island seemed really angry with me and emailed me to say:
"You need to get a life! Don't ever contact me again!"
Labels:
Catholic,
Christian,
Courage Apostolate,
Evangelical,
evangelism,
ex-gay,
exgay,
Exodus International,
gay,
homosexuality,
ministry,
St. John Vianney
Saturday, November 26, 2011
“God loves you more than any dude will ever love you."
When I was High School and College, a magazine called "XY" was extremely appealing to me. The magazine was filled with "eye-candy." It was basically soft-core porn, but it also portrayed gay "couples" my age in very romanticized ways that seemed at the time to speak to my deepest wounds and longings. I used to seek out the magazine every time I went to Barnes and Noble and browse it in awe.
In retrospect, my experience was similar to that of Madam Bovary in Flaubert's novel who bought into to the FALSE "love" of romanticism. A narcissistic self-serving endless cycle of increasing desperation. The images and articles glorified the concept of "gay relationships" and the idealization of this homoerotic attraction as a form of "love." (See my other blog post from 1/7/13: "What is Love?") It also included plenty of propaganda articles about the "Christian Right" and others (like Pope John Paul II) who allegedly were "filled with hate" for "people like us" because they wanted more for people with the homosexual condition than simply these shallow "relationships."
Michael Glatze, left |
Dr. Joseph Nicolosi has followed up with Michael several times and they recently published this interviews: 2007 interview: http://narth.com/docs/glatze.pdf
Michael Glatze: Two Year Follow-up (2009)
Labels:
Catholic,
Christian,
Courage Apostolate,
ex-gay,
exgay,
gay,
gay christian,
gay youth,
gaytostraight,
homosexuality,
ItGetsBetter,
Jesus Christ,
LGBT,
LGBT Youth,
LGBTQ,
Michael Glatze,
NARH,
Real Love,
XY Magazine
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