I think it is pretty enlightening when we measure our own thoughts, motives, and actions against God's description of Love in 1 Cor 13. It is rare that we live up to this, but I've noticed when I was in the lifestyle that I was constantly doing things that were the exactly the opposite and yet calling it "love."
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out”