Monday, August 22, 2011

Back from the BEYOND (Journey Beyond)

I really appreciate your prayers this past week while I was at "Journey Beyond" the advanced program for "Journey into Manhood" (JiM) grads. All I'll say for now is that I just returned from the most AMAZING ssa-healing experience ever! God made his presence known in a POWERFUL way the past 6 days. It was a major healing experience for all of us.

I cried (gallons) non-stop for four full days and then again last night when I got home. About 1/3 of that was crying with and for others. I felt so attuned to their wounds that I probably cried more for them than I did when it was my turn. My whole face covered in snot - it was nasty. ;)

Another 1/3 of the crying was a "draining of the swamp" for experiences and losses I should have grieved 15-20 years ago. I had a lot of support from the brothers there when re-experiencing that. Another 1/3 of the crying though was tears of absolute JOY!
I can definitely understand now why they didn't let me go last year. I would NOT have been prepared to handle it in a healthy way a year ago. I felt like I and the others were well supported though when we had to face our issues.

During one particular process I was able to see and experience God walking with me through all of the dark moments of my past -the worst of the wounds and the worst of my sins. The times in my life where I felt I was the farthest from God. It seems like he shined a brilliant light into those dark places (I could see even the dark rooms I had been in back then being lit up with a blinding light. Nothing was secret, but everything was being restored. I really experienced first hand the way He has been able to use those bad experiences for good and for fulfilling the work that He has for me to do in affirming others and leading others to Him and walking with them in their healing.

It was a truly AMAZING experience that was far beyond my wildest expectations. I'm still in the "altered" mental state right now so I guess I'll have to expect some extreme ups and downs over the next few weeks. Some say it takes a fully year to process this experience. I went through Journey into Manhood two years ago now in 2009. At the time, I thought THAT was the most intense SSA healing experience ever. That weekend two years ago permanently reduced my SSA and I'm still reaping the benefits and growth from that experience. This last week was a lot more challenging and intense but it built on the foundation set by the experiences of the "JiM" weekend.

Anyway, I'm really glad my friends (from Courage, Exodus, and JiM) that went last year encouraged me to apply. This particular weekend is only offered once a year. Attending "Journey into Manhood" (JiM) is the minimal prerequisite to apply, but at least one other "experiential weekends" in between from other organizations (like the Courage Sports Camp, Marked Men for Christ, EdgeVenture, or Men at the Cross) is usually also required. This week takes the best of ALL of them and builds

I'll try to share more sometime soon. Right now I just to let myself recover from the emotional surgery. I need to journal a lot more and keep processing and integrating all of this over the next few months.

God Bless,


1 comment:

  1. Praise the Lord! You may find that at times Satan wants you to return to a former way of life but KNOW that God is bigger than anything Satan can throw at you. Hang in there. You are in my prayers!